Why do we fall in love with certain people? Do we have any criteria for choosing partners?
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Answer 1
January, 2021Each person has their own, as such, criteria. We observe the people around us, their characters, behavior, gait, some pay attention to their hairstyle / appearance. So, falling in love is probably when you like the outer shell of a person (his laughter, habits). But it also happens that you are simply drawn to a certain person and you cannot explain this: what is it about him, why exactly he occupies all your thoughts. Everyone has their own, personal and, I think, no one will be able to explain it.
Answer 2
January, 2021Textbooks on social psychology write about this well.
For example, the brilliant old man Eliot Aronson, “Social Psychology. Psychological laws of human behavior in society "
The main prerequisites for rapprochement:
1) The effect of proximity (including the effect of simply being in the field of vision) - as in advertising!
2) Similarity of personality traits
3) We like those who like WE
4) Appearance
(somewhat more important for men)
Well, it is worth remembering that falling in love is still a projective feeling: it is not for a person, but for your fantasies, imposed on this person. Love and building relationships begins with ... disappointment!
That is literally: the charm subsides, we find that the person is not what we thought it was. And even very imperfect, that is - real, alive.
If I see a real person and want to build a relationship with him - this is, perhaps, love. And there are patterns too, and see, for example, in the same place))
For example, long-term relationships are more likely to be built when people have a similar upbringing (that is, values), but the temperament is opposite, "complementary" friend friend, etc.