Why do people have complexes and how to deal with them?

Why do people have complexes and how to deal with them?

Freedom from Self-Doubt | B.J. Davis | TEDxSacramentoSalon

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answers (3)

Answer 1
July, 2021

Complexes are instilled in us from the outside, so that it is easier to manipulate us ...

It is very difficult for a self-sufficient person with adequate self-esteem to implant about 90% of our existing stereotypes of thinking and behavior in our heads so that they become more pliable. criticize and pay attention to the shortcomings, not the merits.

It is very easy to fight - compare yourself only with yourself yesterday and do not try to please others.

In response to the offer / request, take a break and ask yourself - why do you want to answer "yes"? The only real motive is your desire to do it. If there is fear or a desire to please someone, not to offend, etc. - boldly say "no" ...

Love and accept yourself as you are, with all the nuances, this will also help to to others. If you really love a person - you will not have a desire to manipulate him - you will not humiliate and criticize him, raise his complexes. You expect the same attitude towards yourself :-))))

Answer 2
July, 2021

Complexes are doubts. It is not so easy for people to survive, let alone live and feel protected. The feeling that everyone is trying to instill in you insecurity and fear since childhood. It's simple. The biggest fear is this is the fear of death, and we will all die. There is nothing to be afraid of the inevitable, there is nothing to blame yourself for what you have done and half your life to kill for remorse or dissatisfaction with yourself. Just live every day, trying to be at least a little happy. It makes no difference whether you are beautiful or not, smart or slow down a little. , everyone has the same problems. Live and fish out a little joy, otherwise life will turn into catch-up.

Answer 3
July, 2021

Complexes always have a social basis. Let me explain.

We are all social beings (even the most hardened introverts), we need support, support, the views of other people. Complete exclusion from society leads to psychological problems, including mental disorders. For example, in Nazi Germany, there was a tendency to take away a newborn child from a mother for their further education within the party, to create identical human clichés with blond hair and eyes, physically and mentally healthy as much as possible. But the result turned out to be quite deplorable: many children, separated from their mothers at such an early period, subsequently showed signs of mental deviations and disorders. The worst thing, the teacher once told us at one of the lectures, is when there is deathly silence in the children's reception room: not a single child scream is heard. This means that already at such a small stage, the child is torn out of society, has no hope that they will come to him, take care of him. Try to imagine his future life, if at the age of six months he lost hope for a good attitude towards himself and others.

As we age, we increasingly "deepen" into social, social relations. In childhood and adolescence, we are faced with previously unknown social rules, hierarchies in groups, we learn what is “allowed” and what is “not”, what is “good” and what is “bad”. The categories of "good" and "bad" are still defined at the social level. These are the same rules of conduct that hold us back in our actions. “You can’t beat the girl, you’re bad, behave correctly!” The mother shouts at the boy, seeing how he raises his hand over his little girlfriend, trying to take away his toy. "You would be wrong if you hide the truth from her," a friend shakes his head as he listens to the story of how his friend cheated on his girlfriend. But in addition to "good", "bad" there are many other categories that many representatives of different movements are currently struggling with. "You're too fat." "You have a crooked nose." "You have a lot of acne, ugh, awful." These are the same categories that a person gets out of when faced with the propaganda of ideal bodies, rich clothes, many "friends", languid looks from under false eyelashes, pumped up muscles. But ... Such a man. Here he is just like that on his own: with imperfect hands, with acne, with his fears and prejudices. And how should he know, how to defend himself, seeing that he is "worse", he is "not like that", he is "unworthy"? It is impossible in 100% of cases to reject public opinion, especially in early adolescence, when a teenager has no idea who he is, what his place is among others, what he is capable of. And he projects everything onto himself. On your body, on your behavior, on your world. He accepts the opinion of others, agrees with him, saying to himself: "Yes! I am terrible. I am fat, I am too afraid, I do not know how to talk, I am stupid!" And here he is. Complex. That with which a person will then conduct a long, stubborn, angry struggle, because, as I said, socialThorona is our nature, it is not so easy to pick it out from under the crust.

And my advice now for dealing with them: love yourself and others. We are all different. We are all perfect. Each one for himself or for an important other. With crooked noses, with small bellies and problems on the face. Be careful with each other and do not create problems for each other, yet we do not live in the most ideal world.

Good luck and all the best.

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