Well, we all then thought that addiction is not about us, health warnings are horror stories along with warning inscriptions on packs. And the insatiable thirst of researchers and just the search for new vivid sensations made us forget about all fears and finally taste this forbidden fruit. Yes, at the beginning there were fears in my head from the series "what if I immediately faint", "what if I burn my trachea", "what if my third lung grows." But the desire to try overcame all fears. In the end, I'll just try, from one time nothing will come of it, and suddenly I don't like it at all, and how, in principle, can I form my attitude and civic stance towards smoking, if I have never even tried it. I took a cigarette from a pack forgotten by someone on the balcony, armed myself with a box of matches and retired to the garden. He lit a cigarette and inhaled carefully. Oh god, I didn't even expect it to be so nice, relaxing and delicious. The thought instantly dawned on me that this is what I was looking for for a long time, I just did not know how to formulate it in my head and in which direction to move. And here aromas, tastes, chemical reactions and sensations have themselves intertwined into a single ball, that nothing more needs to be formulated. You just have to drag on a cigarette and feel this smoke in yourself. Of course, there was no place for pessimism. The greatest folly after that was not to get your own lighter and a pack of cigarettes, but rather not one, but several, with different tastes. So that you can alternate according to your mood, and so that you don't get bored. Of course, I immediately wanted to turn smoking into my constant ritual, such as taking daily vitamins as a child. As time went on ... time was more like an exciting gastronomic adventure in the world of tobacco pleasures. And then I noticed that if before I could perform my ritual once every 1-2 days, having smoked only a couple of cigarettes, now the ritual has become daily. If I used to do this on a walk in my free time, now the desire arose on the way to school, I could not help but smoke a cigarette on the way home from school. Sometimes the desire arose right in the middle of the school day, and at a big break I went for a smoke break around the corner of the school. The desire began to arise spontaneously, unconsciously, it became uncontrollable, and the number of cigarettes smoked grew inexorably. The lack of control scared me. And then I realized that a harmless ritual has become my habit, a necessary need. I tried not to buy cigarettes, but after a couple of hours my soul became hard and unbearable, all thoughts were only about a cigarette, and if someone lit a cigarette nearby, I turned into an inveterate passive smoker. Once I stayed like that for a week. But the nerves could not stand it, the legs themselves carried to the tobacco stall, the girl who gave out cigarettes to the minor turned into a goddess who sent down a piece of heavenly manna to the unfortunate. I lit a cigarette again, and the world was filled with new beautykami, I felt an incredible sensation of lightness, as if a stone had fallen from my shoulders. So I learned that the pleasure of smoking arises not only from the manipulation of the cigarette itself, the sensation of a pleasant taste and smell of tobacco, but also from the satisfaction of nicotine hunger. This is an indescribable feeling of lightness from the fall of a stone from the soul. And I also realized that I am still a nicotine addict. I reproached myself for this, for several years called myself a rag, many times tried to quit. Just for the sake of not being addicted. After each explosion, a feeling of shame never left me. The denouement came by itself. I thought that if I can't quit, then wouldn't it be better to just continue smoking quietly, stop torturing myself and not berate myself. I gave up morality. I got acquainted with a smoking company, made sure that smoking is not a vice or a source of evil. The biggest evil is when a person is afraid to accept himself. When giving up something to please others. Now, perhaps, I am in a state in which it is too late to quit smoking, or rather not too late, but it will be associated with too much trauma to the psyche and the body
Well, one can hardly consider 20 years as a direct conscious age, but yes, it was not my classmates who taught me to smoke. It was more of a curiosity, to find out in practice what it really is. You can also call it a search for something new, something that would help, that would bear fruit, even a pleasant one. Well, just a little socialization, yes, to enter the circle of those who can give a light to a passerby. Here are some pies.
Girls quite often start smoking out of unhappy love in their youth. So I did it. At that time, no one thought about harm at all. It was disgusting to smoke, but I forced myself and got used to it. And now for more than a dozen years nowhere without a cigarette.
Until the age of 16, I did not succumb to the agitation of friends who "dabbled" from the age of 14, but in the end gave up under the onslaught of the crowd at the next change at school and began to smoke for the company "not in a drag", with the naive confidence that it would not go into something more. I myself did not notice how for 15 years I can not imagine myself without a cigarette.
Teenage bill, stupidity and stupid belief that "I will quit at any moment" played a cruel joke.
Being cool, like everyone standing behind a school, smoking is not a drag. Standing out from the gray mass, but also being led by the herd instinct.
Stress relief is just a pleasure, like eating chips
the question sounded like I smoke 2 packs of cigarettes a day every day, yeah.
You know, I also drink wine. dependence on him too.
And so, monsieur, I began to socialize then (well, yes, stupid school years) then I quit, and then I came back deliberately.
It will probably be funny, but there is nothing more pleasant than smoking a cigarette during a break or after good sex.
Do you want to know how many cigarettes I smoke a day with my experience of 12 years?
less than half a pack.
have a nice evening.