What to do if a loved one is sick, you try and care, but you constantly hear harsh statements (the ointment is not applied like that (I am a doctor), the thing is not put in the right way, etc.)?

Call another doctor who would do his job for money, and would not be related to the patient by family ties.

First, if you really do the procedures in a way that the patient does not like, then, maybe he will come to terms with others better.

Secondly, it is easier to manipulate a relative, because he may feel some kind of duty, and you can be capricious with him without hindrance, because he will not leave. And the hired nurse, having heard 10 times that the pillow is not right, spits and leaves. Therefore, the patient will have to negotiate and clearly explain exactly how the pillow should lie.

It is generally difficult to work with relatives - family relations interfere and interfere with the workers. Therefore, it is undesirable to be a doctor / teacher / hairdresser, etc. for loved ones. Because you are communicating no longer in the "customer-executor" plane, but in the three-dimensional space "customer-executor-mother (grandmother, sister)".

Or not to pay attention, putting it in your head that it is unbearable for a person to be helpless, or to hire someone for money, whose duties include not only smearing, but also listening. I'm very sorry.

As a real physician, do not take these nitpicks to heart and do not feel sorry for the patient, but do your job. You can feel compassion for the sick, but you cannot feel sorry for them, otherwise you will provide poor quality care.