What if your best friend is on drugs?

What if your best friend is on drugs?

What Do Performance-Enhancing Drugs Do To Your Body?

Previous questionWhy do people behave differently depending on their environment?
Next questionThere is a term in music: "brown note". What is it?

answers (11)

Answer 1
June, 2021

No matter how harsh it sounds - to score. That's all. I speak from my own experience.

We have been comrades since childhood, even were born on the same day. Everyone thought it was a lifelong friendship. And we thought so too. We did everything together, saw each other every day, walked, talked. A very strong friendship, if in general.

But the idyll came to an end when my friend lost his father. At that time, my friend was 14. No matter how hard they tried, not me, not even my mother, and even more so, anyone else could not calm his wound. And then, as they say, "it started."

First, light drugs, the so-called "nature". After my arguments with him, he firmly asserted: "Yes, nothing will happen, this is easy garbage, there won't even be addiction, I control everything" ...

It's a shame that he tried to hook me on it too , and I really wanted to agree, because at that moment it was a shame to refuse. "The best friend is still hard for him, he needs to be supported." And he was constantly offended at me and did not talk, because I found the strength to refuse.

Time passed, the amount of "used" increased, he did not want to listen to me, and the drug became stronger.

So, one day, I was simply presented with a fact. "Either you try with me now, or you can go to ** th".

I tried to convince him for a long time, but it was already useless. We parted. And they didn't communicate anymore.

I was terribly unpleasant to realize this, I suffered for a long time, while he quickly found himself a company that, so to speak, shared his interests.

But I, as, after all, "the best friend", was interested in how he was there, so I later found out from our mutual acquaintances how and how he lives. The news was, to put it mildly, not very good. He lost a lot of weight, walked like a zombie. His mother burned him in this case and kicked him out of the house. I don't know what he was doing at that time, but then she let him back ...

More than 5 years have passed. I scored. I stopped learning how he was there and all that.

Now I am 22, he is 23. I have a good and promising job, a wonderful and loving girl. Life is going uphill. It's scary to imagine what would have happened to me if I followed his lead ...

He, in turn, lost absolutely everything. Friends, girl, family.

And just a couple of weeks ago, I accidentally met with our mutual friend, who said that he was sent to places not so remote for as long as 20 years, for selling to minors and a home "laboratory ".

This is how we live.

Humpbacked grave will fix it.

PS This is my and only my life experience. If you are interested in my article and you are faced with the same problem, you should not follow my lead and leave this person. In this text, I described a specific problem when a friend simply "scored" on everything and everyone. When everything is already useless. But, if you have a different situation, if the person "shows signs of life", read another article. Here, unfortunately, I am not your assistant. I am sure you will succeed.

Answer 2
June, 2021

My childhood friend died of cardiac arrest due to excessive use of mephedrone (salt). And I, meanwhile, worked in a narcological dispensary, helping strangers to get out, such is the irony of fate.

The most important thing in this situation is to be around, respecting and protecting your boundaries ... Live your normal life, meet with your friend as often as before, as much as it is comfortable for you. Let's take an example: you usually see a friend twice a week, try to maintain this frequency of meetings so that the addict sees that you have not turned away from him. This is important for him, because drug use is based on a diffuse (= not holistic) personality, this is always accompanied by distortions of self-esteem, distortions in criticizing their own thoughts. If you break contact with him, outwardly he may not show that he noticed it, but if you were an important person for him, he will definitely feel it.

Interests . At these meetings, one day you will become rather bored with each other, because your friend will most likely be either "under" or at the waste, they are not particularly impressed by conversations about "study-work". Ideally, if a friend with you, such a "boring" non-user, gets into the company of the same "boring" people who will actively contact your friend (not knowing about his problem): asking his opinion, being interested in his good qualities - this strengthens self-esteem. If your friend sees that it is interesting to live without use, this will undermine his need for drugs.

Anything that might interest your drug addict friend (usually very talented people with a bunch of hidden potentials) will do: exhibitions, paintball matches, barbecue outdoors (without alcohol), and dancing (try take the addict to bachata, where a girl will be assigned to him as a couple, you will be very surprised), go-karting, acting courses, creative evenings. Any activity where there is contact with people is important for the addict, so he feels the importance of his "healthy" part of the personality. This is why AN (Narcotics Anonymous) is primarily a community. The only important emphasis is that it is very good if a friend pays for himself everywhere. This will allow him to think about investment literacy. How much he is ready to spend on an interesting life, and how much - on kumar.

This method of support has one big plus: you both develop, first of all, you, setting a good example for your friend. You, helping, discover new things for yourself, refuse to stick to the sofa, cultivate a certain core in yourself (because often a friend does not come to meetings, which is logical, but you keep calling him and calling). A friend develops because he always sees the opportunity to start living in a new way. If you interest him with a bunch of interesting events, one day it will become unbearably boring for him to be in the company of co-users and he himself will begin to be interested in how to get out of this bail. And then the detox will begin, groups, AN, periods of cleanliness and other delights of recovery.

An important point : exactly interest, desire to have a good time with a friend, unwillingness to spend your time to nothing - and it is worth explaining your desire to take your friend somewhere, and not by the fact that you want to defeat his addiction. If you motivate him through "let's go dance, or you'll die, addict" - this will cause negativism, he will feel like a burden and, most likely, will never agree with you to go anywhere again. It is important to remember that addicts love their addiction. They sincerely love (at the same time hating) drugs, because they give addicts the brightest feelings. Fighting addiction through negativism is akin to trying to prevent another friend of yours from dating a girl he’s godlessly crush on. Let him live the way he lives, accept his choice, but demonstrate that he is important and dear to you, you are interested in him, you want to spend time with him NOT sacrificing yourself, not using, not replacing, not helping him get.

This method of support has one major drawback: you will invest a lot in it emotionally, but it may not help. Absolutely. Because a person's soul will always remain a subtle matter, and you simply cannot know all the features of his psyche. One day you risk losing that person forever. This is also worth remembering, accepting both his and his mortality. Therefore, I focus on the fact that by supporting it through the fascination of life, development, first of all, you get it. But this is already about working with meanings, irrational attitudes of the personality, both yours and your friend's. In general, a long, painful, but hefty interesting story.

Answer 3
June, 2021

As a participant in such events, based on the experience of long-term communication and numerous attempts to help, I will give some recommendations.

First and, perhaps, the most important thing - Never use drugs with the person you are trying to help. First, you immediately lose the authority you need so much in the eyes of the user. Second (but MUCH MORE SIGNIFICANT), think that you are also dragging yourself into misfortune that COULD consume you. THIS IS AN UNJUSHED RISK!

Second - as mentioned above - persuasions / disputes / conditions / resentments / ultimatums are absolutely useless. You simply turn a person away from yourself and no matter how dear you are to a person, you will face rejection of you and your attempts. Most likely, the person will simply not trust you anymore and pay attention to all this. The next stage of this tactic is deception. By any means, a person will hide from you the truth about his condition and about his actions. If you continue to incriminate and accuse the person, he will simply disappear. Of course, this does not mean that you should encourage drug use, on the contrary, try to as clearly as possible assert your position of non-acceptance of this aspect in your life and the life of your loved one. This must be done confidently, reasonably and extremely delicately, otherwise (re-read paragraph 2).

How?

First, you need a frank conversation, absolutely frank. If you are fortunate enough to be the most trusted person, you can get a lot of useful knowledge, if not, you will have to gain trust, which is another question. So, you enter the circle of absolute trust of a person:
1. (!) Mute EVERYTHING. YOUR. EMOTIONS. this is not a joke, you have to look at everything realistically. You have to talk not with a friend, but with a dependent person who needs help. Look objectively at the situation, understand and admit: a person so dear to you is a drug addict. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT. denial and non-acceptance of the problem does not solve it absolutely. do not entangle your (primary negative and aggressive) emotions in your dialogue, be cold and objective, otherwise you risk worsening the situation. At this stage, I recommend deciding whether you are ready for this kind of tests? Yes, you will always have the opportunity to leave, but the further into the forest, as they say. He will make a choice right now, no one will be able to accuse you of anything, in the end you SHOULD NOTHING TO ANYONE (except yourself, of course)!
If you decide, then you will have to become a subtle psychologist and stock up on a huge amount of patience. In some ways, you will have to completely change your point of view and not only. Donate time / effort / money. You also need to truly love the person you want to help. In this matter, truly boundless love, faith and patience can keep you, YOU, afloat and help your loved one. (Unless of course you are a certified specialist with many years of practice experience, but this also applies to the professioncash including)
2. Prepare questions to help you figure out the cause. BE MOST DELICATE. Firstly, in order not to injure a loved one, and secondly, one way or another you imagine a reaction to certain questions and even words, so carefully select the wording and formulation of sentences. Especially the questions that interest you.
For example, instead of the question: Why are you constantly doing this ?! - For what reasons are you attracted to drugs?
When will you stop ?! - I am always there, if you need help, let's find out why it is so important and necessary for you to use substances? etc.
I remind you: YOUR TASK IS NOT TO ACCUSE, BUT TO FIND OUT THE REASON WHICH IS HAPPENING.
Basically, the answers will be similar to these:
"I like drugs / this state / state of altered consciousness / give I feel like living. "
" I hate the real world / I can't live in this grayness / I want to feel alive. "
" Come on, nothing serious, it's just hashish / marijuana / I'm not in Vienna expanding. " Remember, ANY DRUGS HAVE AN IMPACT ON CONSCIOUSNESS AND THE CONSEQUENCES WILL BE IRREVERSIBLE.
3. Be prepared for the addict to always justify drugs and their addiction. Here you should stock up on arguments. Believe me, the standard "this is bad" WILL NOT HELP. Drug addicts are really extremely resourceful in manipulating techniques and selection of arguments for their own drug addiction. Sometimes, justifying their actions, they are able to build a whole philosophy, like downshifting and nihilism, so as not to exclude this aspect from their life.
You should study the "levers of pressure" (DO NOT PUSH ON THEM !!!) on your friend, that is, find out his priorities and guidelines and try to convince and open his eyes to what surrounds him and what he can lose. (Life / health / family / material goods, etc.).
4. Build tactics guided by your friend's motivators, use all the information that you managed to get. The main rule: learn and make the life of your dear person interesting and fulfilling without substances. CREATE AN EXPERIENCE! (travel, hobbies, even social work in some cases) and so on, in general, make your dreams come true and do that wonderful, amazing and useful thing for which your imagination is enough. Remind him constantly of how important he is to you and others. NO ACCUSATION! Patient and methodical. Believe me, sometimes you will be overwhelmed with emotions and the worst thing: you will want to quit all this countless times. ALWAYS REMEMBER WHY IT IS YOU PERSONALLY.
5. Try to be just there.
6. Nobody cancels the professional qualified assistance of specialists. Search, watch, read reviews and recommendations about psychologists, psychoators, narcologists and others and others. You will have to learn a lot from psychology / psychoanalysis / psychiatric practices about addictions and types / types of effects of certain drugs on consciousness (the process of thinking, perception), etc. And try to findand a solution together with specialists. BE VERY CAREFULLY APPROACH TO MEDICINE TREATMENT.
And finally, I want to say that like everyone else, I can not promise you that all this will help, since, first of all, all cure depends on the addict himself. These recommendations are based solely on their own experience, therefore they cannot be considered as the ultimate truth. I wish you good luck and patience, embarking on this difficult path. May you be rewarded according to your deserts and may you get what you want.

Answer 4
June, 2021

Does drugs. Well well. But what does it mean? Does he vein heroin three times a day? Or smokes a couple of hash once a week? Acid? Amphetamines? How often? What is the dosage? How does he himself feel about this, and what is he? All these are far from idle questions, and based on the answers to them, you need to act in different ways. "Taking drugs" is not necessarily the same as "in trouble." Contrary to popular belief, it is quite possible to use something and not have any problems with it. Here, as with everything else - with alcohol, fast driving, computer games, sweets - the main thing is to know when to stop. Avicena has long since figured out that any substance can be either a poison or a medicine - the question is in the dosage.

In any case, most often the best answer in many situations is "do nothing." Any action gives rise to opposition. It is worth raising kipesh, fussing, "helping to get out" only if the friend himself understands that he has problems, and without help he cannot cope. If this is obvious to you, but not to him - first of all, convey your vision to your friend, discuss it with him seriously, somehow "like a man" talk face to face. If you have come to a common point of view, then yes - pull, distract, be near, look for an alternative, invest. If there is no common point of view on the situation, do nothing, as you will only make things worse, and, quite possibly, you will lose a friend.

Answer 5
June, 2021

The author, without specifying what drug is in question, is completely useless to talk about this topic.

The great sadness is that both in Russia and in the Russian Internet there is very little actual and confirmed information, incl. h. because of the activities of our excellent government, which believes that limiting information somehow can deter people from trying drugs.

I recommend the author to watch the following video from the TED scientific conference:
https: // www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_addiction_is_wrong?language= - "Everything you know about drug addiction is a lie"

Don't look for a simple solution, don't look for a solution in constraint. It's deeper.

Answer 6
June, 2021

If you tell a drug addict that drugs are bad, he will ignore it or prove otherwise. In any case, whatever arguments you give, they will all be wasted. If there is someone to give up and why (a beloved girl, for example, who is worried and loves), then everything is 50/50, but with proper help, support and care, everything can work out. Or it remains to wait until something serious happens to him, which will force him to quit (problems with the law or with health). If you want to take part in a friend's healing, then you must remember that most people go to drugs because of lack of emotion, unhappiness, depression. You should show your friend that life without drugs is also interesting and full of emotions, good people and so on.

Answer 7
June, 2021

I'll tell you what I did myself. My best friend was a heroin addict. I am too empathic person, initially I tried to pull him out with persuasion, money, prayers, everything. I tried everything I knew. I gave all my resources and after a while I realized that I was fading away. I realized that I couldn't go on like this and realized that there were no improvements. I stopped. At one point I realized that it was mine, and not his initiative. It was I who offered help, I tried to grab him from the clutches of death. This is fundamentally important.

I told him that he is dear to me, that I accept any of his choices and decisions. I told him that if he wants to "go out," he can turn to me. And I left.

There was a lull for a long time, I really thought he was dead. It was very serious there, it was pumped out and it was extinguished. And one day he came and asked me for help, his loved ones. And then gradually and to this day he leaves this state.

What advice do I want to give?

Tell the person that they have someone to count on if they want to quit drugs. Everything else is useless.

Answer 8
June, 2021

Break up. Neither friends, nor acquaintances, nor doctors will help the addict to get rid of addiction. Only the closest (family) will be able and only if the person himself tries to do something.

Answer 9
June, 2021

You yourself will not do anything, and inaction will most likely lead to death. (I am personally familiar with such cases)

Results from a case from life:

1) No persuasion and conversation will help.

2) The treatment did not help, this person stupidly ran away, and the clinic cannot restrict freedom, as they said.

3) Neither a girl, nor family, nor friends can help.

4) Anonymous treatment is nonsense, they get even more high on these pills.

This person must decide for himself what he needs. Only prison really helps, those who have served time, those who are at least alive, the rest have already died.

Answer 10
June, 2021

Unfortunately, trying to save an addict is akin to playing roulette. Therefore, first of all, you should sit down and, while distancing yourself emotionally from your friend as much as possible, consider the following questions:

  1. Realize that success in solving the problem of a drug addict depends not so much on you as on him. I would say 20/80.
  2. How much time, money and effort can you spend trying to solve a problem without worsening your own physical and mental condition.
  3. When exactly (under what circumstances) do you give up trying to help and start thinking about yourself and your life without this person. Those. this is a strategy for exiting the "roulette game":
    "I have 100 rubles, I play on them and, regardless of the result, if I lose, I stop and go home."
  4. Prepare a specific action plan in which you will know where to go if it is urgently needed and how to live on (go to school / inst / work) without this person.
  5. Think in advance, down to specific actions and words, how you will act when after all this person will try to convince you to return to his life with all his might. Dependent people are brilliant psychological manipulators, they will accuse you of all mortal sins (first of all, that you promised to help and left when such help was needed) in order to return to their usual life. It will be very difficult for you to refuse, because these are your own thoughts. Therefore, it is better to think about this question in advance and emotionlessly.

The second question may seem unimportant, but it is not. It is critically important to preserve your own health, otherwise you may become worse in many respects than your friend.

The advice "to heal" and "to help" has already been given - there are many clinics that deal with this, of varying degrees of doubt. None of them will give any guarantee.

Therefore, I recommend talking to him when your friend is sane, ask what problems he is trying to solve with drugs and say that they are ready to help him in such and such (from point 2 of your plan) within the limits, but only with complete rejection of drugs without any exceptions and forever. Report that with any suspicion of taking drugs after this agreement, you will leave his life forever and your relationship will not be restored.

But in general, from personal experience, I would recommend packing up your things and leaving right now.
Your life is one, a second life so that you take care of yourself, and not of others (and not the best ones) no one else will give you. People change, including for the worse - this is normal, you need to know and take into account. This was not the last good person in your life, there will be many more if you do not painfully dwell on him alone. Think about it carefully.

The person who puts you in second place after drugs is no longer a person. Anyone can make a mistake, but continuing to take drugs is a clear and clear decision and you are not prepared for it.a prominent role of the tool for solving his wants, simply - a slave and nothing more.

Answer 11
June, 2021

Any drug addiction can be cured, but the main difficulty is to convince the addict himself of the need to give up drugs forever and switch brains. It requires an individual approach and it is difficult to give specific advice. Control can sometimes be helpful, not necessarily intrusive, but it is best for the addict to understand that others find it unacceptable to return to the drug. Many drugs, including opiates, become virtually the only way to get pleasure, and the ability to naturally get pleasure is sharply reduced. This causes long-term depression after drug withdrawal, which makes it more difficult to recover from addiction than withdrawal symptoms (withdrawal symptoms). Also, drug addicts are characterized by an inadequate love for the drug, and not a desire to get rid of this rubbish. In addition, illusions about the safety of drug use are widespread, for example, that it can be taken in moderation, including if the physical dependence is mild or the drug use is irregular.

It is necessary to understand that treatment is required. Withdrawal symptoms are quite effectively removed by modern medicine, including free medicine, and as a rule does not threaten life, but with an independent refusal from the drug it can be subjectively difficult to tolerate. Unfortunately, most of those who have received drug treatment or who quit taking drugs on their own return to using it under the influence of depression, social environment and other factors. However, you need to start by giving up the drug. If the treatment takes place in a free narcological hospital, then they will be registered in a narcological dispensary for several years with the restriction of a number of rights. For example, they may not take on a new job. But the consequences of taking drugs are much worse. Long-term use of antidepressants may be required.

It is necessary to realize that drug dependence and the likelihood of its dangerous consequences tend to increase over time, not always quickly, but almost inevitably. The dangerous consequences can be varied. This is the danger of overdose, injury, freezing, etc. An addict can become a victim of antisocial behavior on his part and the environment, losing his life, health, social status, including work or property. For the addict to realize this, an individual approach is also required.

Related question

What to do if your friend is a drug addict: try to help him or leave him, because it's his choice?

Read more

Best friend called fat, what to do?

We have been communicating for a long time. I must say that my friend is very obsessed with nutrition, vegetarianism and raw food, everything connected with this. So, we talked about the lymphatic system, how to clean it, etc., and he tells me that, they say, I also need to clean it. I ask why, ...

Read more

What to do if your best friend accidentally came into contact with dicks while peeing in the midst of drinking in the toilet?

Read more

Drugs vs Enlightenment: What's the difference? | Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev | Mystics of India

What should I do if I become aware that my friend is buying, storing and, presumably, selling drugs?

Read more

What is the best way to support a friend when he has family problems, if we live in different cities?

Read more

What if the best friend becomes a heel every time he meets a girl?

Read more

How to tell if your friend is gay?

Read more

Which colonoscopy drug is best to take?

Read more

What happens during detox and withdrawal from drugs and alcohol?

What would you do if one day you lost your friends, parents and your significant other?

Read more

What is the best way to place your foot when running - on the heel or on the toe?

Read more

What are the best books to read about drugs to better understand their effects on the body?

Read more

Is it true that sleeping on your stomach is undesirable? Then what is the best position to sleep in?

Read more

What are the best nootropic drugs to stimulate the brain?

Read more

Is My Child Using Drugs? Where and what to look for in your house

What is your stupidest / most dangerous drunk or drug escapade?

Read more

What is the best way to accept your own death?

Read more

Would you support the ban on LGBT and drug-related issues on TheQuestion for the safety of your 9-year-olds, if possible?

Read more

What if you don't give a damn about everything (the girl, parents, friends) and there is no desire to do something, even your favorite hobbies?

Read more

What drug do you need to take to feel as if someone is "touching" your soul? What can cause a similar effect?

Read more

I think my friend is using drugs...what should I do?

Is it possible to be close and long-term friends with drug addicts, spend time in their company - and at the same time not use drugs?

Read more

What is the best surface to run on?

Read more