What if you have very low self-esteem, and advice from books and articles does not help?

Here you need to seek help from a specialist. It can be difficult for yourself to raise self-esteem (you need to research what is behind this). It needs to be formed daily by performing special exercises.

Hello! Advice from psychological books and articles usually only helps to get acquainted with the topic in general, with different views on the problem, can help determine this problem if it is unclear.

You have already determined that you have to deal with your low self assessment. Self-esteem begins to build in a person in his very first circle of relationships, in his family, with significant people.

In short, low self-esteem is a disease of relationships. Not enough nourishing attitude towards you from significant figures. The child often mistook the way others judge him to be true about himself. If he is scolded and called clumsy and stupid, he takes it as true information about himself.

You have come to the conclusion that the once accepted assessment of you by other people began to interfere with your full realization in life.

Treating low self-esteem also needs relationships. Best of all, therapeutic, with a psychologist / psychotherapist, because this is a predictable, safe relationship that exists solely to help you, without other goals.

But you can try to independently choose in your environment people who love and appreciate you, and communicate only with such people, limiting communication with people harmful to your well-being.

Try to build high self-esteem for yourself:

Set yourself small tasks in the chosen direction, complete them and you will know for sure where and how you did it, praise yourself for it.

Remember during the day where you behaved in such a way that you began to respect yourself more, and put it in a piggy bank, you can directly start a notebook and review the notes in moments when you doubt yourself.

Have a nice day!

Low self-esteem from failure and fear. Fear, in turn, is an acquired feeling and also a consequence of failures and the negative impact of the environment. It is necessary to analyze whether the current environment is toxic: living conditions, work, loved ones, neighbors. If so, then put all your efforts into changing the environment to a less toxic one. This will be a good result after reaching the goal. In any case, regardless of the environment, one has to do. Anything. Labor and its fruits will help to raise self-esteem. You need to set a goal, even if you are small, and achieve it. You can climb an uncomplicated peak, for example. Then climb a more difficult one (only without heroism).

If you are concerned about self-esteem problems, you estimate that this negatively affects your life, but at the same time you have tried many ways to cope with difficulties on your own, then I would recommend trying to contact a specialist.

A competent psychologist will help you figure out how the problem arose, what prevents you from getting rid of it, and together with you will develop a work plan.

You can find a psychologist on our service, but if you do not have the opportunity to apply for paid help, then you can use the options for free psychological assistance, for example, at the Moscow Center for Psychological Assistance to the Population.

It's the same as with sports training. If you cannot achieve results on your own, then it is always better to resort to the help of a coach who is professionally involved in helping people in such situations.

To score on self-esteem in general)

Realize that your so-called. self-esteem is just a mental, thought loop that works something like this:

1. I am.

2. Who am I? What criteria should I use to understand this?

3. Urgently entering criteria for self evaluation. At the same time, we mistakenly accept as such the signs by which we evaluate other.

4. We evaluate ourselves in comparison with others.

5. We get a dull result, because the brain is aimed at looking for danger and threat, which means that it pays attention only to what you are potentially losing to others.

6. Sad .

7. Returning to step 2.

You can get out of this loop only by realizing that the error of thinking is inherent in paragraph 1. Within the limits of item 2 - item 7 the problem cannot be solved)

I dare to suggest.
Try to do something yourself.
For example - change the crane, fix the car or something like that.
The next step is something more serious.
For example - make a business plan of someone's business.
Compare with the current ones - make sure of its reality.
Just bring any business to the end.
Self-esteem can be raised only by the results of your work.