What exercises on people will help to remove social barriers in the head (what will they think of me; how do I look; what will happen if ...; what if I blush)?

What exercises on people will help to remove social barriers in the head (what will they think of me; how do I look; what will happen if ...; what if I blush)?

Misinformation in Beauty: how to not be a part of the problem.

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answers (10)

Answer 1
April, 2021

Only practice will help solve these problems. And you need to start step by step and not throw yourself completely into this pool. The main thing is not to forget to keep the goal in mind and mark the progress for yourself.

Answer 2
April, 2021

Hello !

There is hardly a universal answer. Because in different people, different situations cause anxiety and stupor. Some exercises can unnecessarily "carnivalize" the situation and not be useful.

In addition, exercise in public is always a certain risk that must be reasonable and tolerable. Therefore, the exercises should be developed with a confidence and social anxiety specialist.

An equally important component is not so much exercise as correct and adequate conclusions from the situation.

Answer 3
April, 2021

Social barriers are actually a part of you, and very important. Therefore, when you interact with other people, it is important to listen to your social barriers and try to understand what they want.

One of our basic needs is the need for security. Most likely, your social barriers take care of her. This is your inner part, which wants to be sure that everything will be fine, that you will not suffer with it. This part remembers times from your past when you lacked security. Perhaps there was so little sense of security that you were traumatized. And often, excessive fear of people is the result of such traumas.

It is important to work through these traumatic episodes and learn how to create a safe enough space for yourself next to other people so that you can be in contact with them as fully as possible so that this important part of you that needs safety does not need to be ignored.

Social barriers live not only in the head, they live in the whole body, so it is important not only to listen to what the inner sophiophobe is telling you, but also to listen to your bodily response to a situation that seems dangerous to him.

Any exercise to overcome social barriers is highly likely to lead to retraumatization and more suffering, as the basic need for safety is almost always ignored.

An internal social phobia needs to be socialized very carefully and carefully, just like a small child. One day he will thank you and will be much more happy to communicate with other people.

Answer 4
April, 2021

For those who want to improve their skill and get rid of constraints, for example, bright, unusual clothes or accessories, or atypical behavior in a public place (within reasonable limits), is also some challenge to yourself in order to get out of the comfort zone, expand it , having established itself in oneself and the surrounding society, to socialize and overcome internal barriers, as it turned out this method in practice, is much better than any auto-training and other psychologists. Of course, everything is within reason, for example, suddenly get up in a subway car and start reading poetry, giving flowers to passers-by on the street, singing a song in the passage, joining a musician, changing into a completely different personality, of a different age and social, taking a walk in the subway, many people this is very friendly. You can start with a small mini-flash mob, stand and depict a statue in a public place, park or on the Arbat, and you will be surprised how responsive many people will even stand next to you, and the more mysterious and the weirder the pose, the better. Anything, even farrowing on the theme of the once popular Pasta Monster, the main thing is to break the usual and understand that the majority do not care, some are even interested and like it, good luck! ✌🏻️🍀

Answer 5
April, 2021

Physicist Lev Landau spent the whole day walking around Moscow, tying a balloon to his ear. According to the testimony of his friends, Landau really began to be ashamed of those around him much less after such a performance :-)

Answer 6
April, 2021

Once I heard a cool story about a dude getting rid of social anxiety through some kind of training in Moscow. I don’t remember in what order, but there were such "exercises":

-Begging on the street.

-Sing in the passage is absolutely not the name of the voice. (You can add musical instruments)

-Sell all sorts of crap in subway cars.

-Take selfies with cool chandeliers in the mall.

-Tie his mother's banana with thread and go for a walk.

According to reviews, it was only the first moments that were difficult, then you finally understand that no one really cares, and if they don’t care, they will forget in two minutes. You get freedom straight. Naturally, if you are afraid to leave the house, it will be hardcore for you, but nothing prevents you from starting small.

Answer 7
April, 2021

I lived with this unsettling feeling until the age of 16. Having grown up, I met people with the same problem or peculiarity. I wanted to help them, because I thought that everything was not so running for me and by changing them, I would change myself. (The stupidest mistake)
Let's call them - colleagues in misfortune.
Closely communicating, I found out that these people consider themselves the center of the universe. Really. If they walk down the street, then everyone seems to be looking condemningly. Someone is laughing in the street. Of course over you! Are you wrong? You will never be forgiven or forgotten! (I am overly dramatizing. But is it familiar to you?)
Communicating with people a lot, I became calmer, because I knew how to listen and not turn the arrows on myself. Later, I realized that those who are pleased to communicate with me and do not pay attention to the appearance at all. At least come to meetings in a dressing gown. Film And people ... People live at their own pace. For them, I'm just a passer-by, a girl or a classmate.
Having listened to hundreds of opinions, I realized that every person lives for himself. You are not the first. Fear is only in your head. The reality is completely different.
And there are hundreds of books about "How to make friends?", "How to become the soul of the company", "How to overcome social phobia", and so ... Do not take them in your hands.
Listen to your heart, analyze yourself, get your own opinion, filter information and live for yourself, and not for the approval of others. You can't please everyone. Find yourself and be happy, and those who should be near will appear.

P.S. Don't listen to me either.

Answer 8
April, 2021

Of course, this is very similar to a social anxiety disorder, which is desirable to "treat" with a psychotherapist. But I will tell you a little of my experience, how we, in the group that we gathered in Odessa, got rid of / are still getting rid of excessive anxiety during social interactions.
It all started with the fact that I turned to the KP-psychotherapist. He told how these problems look from the outside (mine in particular), and we paved a very healthy path to getting rid of the phobia. So, I wanted to assemble a team of people with similar irrationalities - there was something similar to a psychotherapeutic group. This is very briefly, I will not describe the methodology in full here (a psychologist helped in this matter).
From time to time we went out into the fields and did the following exercises (which I remember now):
- just read loud poetry in public (here the most important thing is how thoughts change after such practices. you think like this: now I’ll read it, everyone will point a finger, but it’s worth trying just to change this belief)
- they approached people with a request to scratch their backs (invent any reason why not you can do it yourself; and you know, people don't even mind helping)
- they stopped people who were zealously walking somewhere with the phrase "stop!" or "you!", and then greeted ("hello!"). (a lot of people took it personally and apologized for not knowing :) - almost everyone greeted.
- called strangers (a very funny thing)
- approached strangers, like a person who recently left a psychiatric hospital, and asked to tell what year it was on the street. (funny thing)
- they asked to be transferred across the road (because I'm afraid or color-blind), - even the police got involved in the case and with a serious expression on their face (like I understand, anything can happen) was transferred by the pen.
- you can shout loudly in a busy square. (attention! in Odessa it is now 22:45), - it turns out that everyone does not care at all.
- ... there are many more different ones. If you need someone - contact.
- and watch the training NewLife-2 Tomas, just on the topic.

And even if you get rejections in some exercises, then a very awesome picture of reality is built in your head - some people do not want to help, others are happy, which means that the reason is not in you, but in those very people, in their beliefs, in their values ​​... that is, taking all troubles at your own expense is stupid, and experience shows this. The most important thing is not just to do it, but also to correctly analyze it all, change your ideas about the world, about people. And you need to be in an awkward situation until you feel the buzz from what you are doing. Wait for the anxiety to subside and calm down. And think about not doing these things yourself, find those interested, contact a specialist - you need feedback.

Answer 9
April, 2021

I can share my personal experience, I don't know if it will help you. I myself suffered in my youth from some complexes in terms of social communication. I overcame them very simply: I started helping other people as a volunteer. At first it was even worse, and then I got used to simply not paying attention to hostile opinions on the one hand and to adequately correct myself on the other (in order to more effectively represent other people's interests). It is known that when a person accepts responsibility for others, many complexes about himself are overcome more easily.
As for specific exercises, if you please:
1. What will they think of me? Get a job in your free time in a social institution such as a nursing home where hard and dirty work is required. Tell all your friends and acquaintances how you clean ships from under old people and why such work is important. After that, you will not care what they think of you in other situations. You will know that you are right, and the rest is only the opinions of people that you have the right to take into account or not.
2. I look like? Work (for money) in places where you have to wear ugly and dirty work clothes. Share more selfies from your place of work. After that, from the first payday, go to a restaurant, dressed decently. And again, more photos on the net. This will help you get rid of all sorts of complexes regarding appearance.
3. What happens if...? Do it "if", describe the results in detail on your blog or share with friends.
4. What if I blush? Pick a girl you don't know and read her love poems in public. Then let her tell you whether they blushed or not.

Answer 10
April, 2021

In no case do I pretend to be a knowledgeable person in this area, I will just express my point of view, since you asked me to answer. I had similar problems, and I solved them very simply. Wedge wedge so to speak. I began to communicate a lot with people, more practice, more socialization, in the end I came to the conclusion that many people have exactly the same questions, that is, they do not really care about your appearance, they also think about how not to blush, how to don't get into an awkward situation)) it's not a fact that my method will help you, so it's better to wait for the answers of competent people)

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