The strangest things happen to me, what should I do?
Good things happening to me - Guided meditation
It all started in early May, everything seemed to be normal, as usual I walked from morning to night (figuratively). But I began to notice that the atmosphere of my walks began to take on an unpleasant appearance to me. Everything was somehow gray, sad and unpleasant. Once I had an unpleasant dream, over which I was pondering all morning (I will not divulge the details of the dream, since it is not on the topic). During the day I forgot about it, but towards evening I remembered it again, and a real trash began.
The heartbeat quickened, the breath caught, an insane feeling of fear and derealization began. I understand it was a panic attack. This condition lasted for several days, later I began to look for what it was and how to deal with it. As a result, the Internet led me to a "seasonal blues", I was afraid to go to the doctor, and there was not much opportunity. As a result, all this was forgotten after a week, but as soon as I drank a small amount of alcohol, everything started anew .... And now I have been in this state for three months now, other symptoms have appeared that frighten me very much. The only thing that could distract me was a trip to rest, and then not for long.
In order not to paint the poem, I will tell you in brief.
Obsessive thoughts appeared, at first worried, now faded into the background. I am constantly looking on the Internet, what is happening to me, what kind of illness I have, how to overcome it and the like.
The feeling that I have closed myself in "my little world".
Interest in everything has completely disappeared.
Stopped feel feelings for your soulmate.
There is no comfort even at home under a blanket.
Sometimes I observe the situation and think that everything seems to be fine, everything is as it should, but it feels like I’m watching inside, as if it’s all the movies that I like, but it is unpleasant.
Sometimes I think about life and realize that I forgot how to live.
I do not feel satisfaction from ordinary affairs. The head often hurts. And a bunch-a bunch-a bunch of everything.
I understand it sounds absurd, but I'm an impressionable and empathic person, maybe it somehow plays a role.
I have already tried to get away from this, and went to a psychologist , and ran, and tried to captivate himself with something, all to no avail ...
Next week I am going to a psychiatrist, but for now I want to hear an opinion from people who know at least a little about this.