Question honey. workers (mainly doctors). What are the most stupid and ridiculous questions the patients have asked?

I had a patient in the "shaggy-90s". The man looks, of course, strange and creepy, illness and life "beat" him. He is tall (if you straighten his humped back), his face is all wrinkled (like wrinkled prunes), hands below the knees with knobby, thin fingers + "cherry on the cake" divergent squint (eyes are turned to the temples). In general, the man has a creepy look. After some discussion, I found out that he is very good-natured, despite how he looks (honestly, only to scare children, adults will also hiccup for a long time). The man decided that he would have to thank me. At some point, he pulls his hands in my direction, somewhere in the neck area and asks me what size of my throat ... Curtain!
Ps. He wanted to buy a shirt for me and asks about the collar size

I am not a doctor (student) yet, but somehow we were in the operating room (I and my classmates often assist) and there relatives brought a 5-year-old boy who pathologically hates doctors, who had 6 milk teeth to remove from for caries of the most terrible and deepest types (of course, under general anesthesia already) and 4 milk teeth for treatment. In general, the child was sorry and as I thought during the whole operation: he did not know and did not see such a thing as a toothbrush.
After the operation, the doctor and assistant (that is, I) go down to the child's relatives and the mother starts asking how everything is. passed, etc.
And to our remark and indignation, she blushed slightly and gave out in surprise: "Why should children brush their teeth?" It was the worst thing I have ever encountered.

As you have rightly noted here, I don't want to call the questions stupid and ridiculous - especially when your patients are elderly people. Most often.

But one question from a 50-year-old man who had a stroke, no, no, and we will recall with colleagues. “And if you drink alcohol, its relaxing effect will help you to restore movement in your hand faster?”.

But I think this is a very specific joke.

For 30 years of medical practice, I can write a book on such issues. But, as the previous author rightly noted, these are such stupid and funny questions for us. For the patients themselves, their questions are urgent and serious. When I first got a car, I only knew that the carburetor was under the hood and asked the mechanics such questions that they laughed for a long time. Therefore, I assure you that any doctor will tell you that your question is incorrect: it’s like ridiculing patients, what is wrong and wrong.

Listen, without any morality, to be honest now I understand ... - And there were no stupid and ridiculous questions in seven years. Despite the fact that he worked in the villages, many patients - milkmaids, calves, i.e. normal women with no special universities. They are my patients, any of their questions is correct! It is my task to explain everything to them on the fingers and to draw it clearly on a piece of paper, so that she wants to be treated - and cured.

Except that the situation was funny. A whole delegation of girls came to the clinic, sat down on chairs in a row in the corridor.

It turned out that some employee also called them syphilitic or something else, and they decided to sue him. And for this - to us, to my antenatal clinic and to the next office, to the venereologist.

Well ... um ... In general, there would be no happiness ... A couple of diagnoses were thanks to that abusive guy was delivered immediately, in a timely manner and without a trace for the subsequent happy reproductive life of the girls. And the subject of the lawsuit somehow disappeared into the evening rural air.

But this is not about stupidity. Rather, about youth and crazy luck.