I feel a strong empathy for other people in their difficult moments, but when my close relatives were gone, I could not mourn them properly, I did not feel anything, maybe something is wrong with me?

I feel a strong empathy for other people in their difficult moments, but when my close relatives were gone, I could not mourn them properly, I did not feel anything, maybe something is wrong with me?

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answers (5)

Answer 1
January, 2021

It is obvious that the person who asked this question for some reason did not like his loved ones, and this is sad, while he sympathized with the grief of his friends to whom he was more attached than to his loved ones.

Answer 2
January, 2021

You did not describe everything clearly. If we are talking about the complete absence of emotions in a critical case, we can assume reactive depression. Contact a specialist.

Answer 3
January, 2021

This may be the stage of denial. Too many people cannot cry when they lose their loved ones. Life freezes. The feeling is that this is not happening to you, that in fact this is all not true, it is not he who is lying in the coffin, it is someone else ... People simply do not want to believe in death in the first time after death, so nothing feel. It is very difficult to lose loved ones, many refuse at first to admit what happened. Those who do not cry but freeze from grief often experience what happened the hardest. In fact, it is scary when a person refuses to admit the obvious. In psychology, there is even a concept of pathological grief, frozen grief, when a person refuses to admit what happened, the pain freezes, time does not heal ... Tears can come in a year, in five years, in ten, time has no power over the grief of such force.

Answer 4
January, 2021

Yes, this is basically normal. It did not mean a strong attachment to a person. The pain of loss can cause people to experience intense feelings, make many mistakes, and even be mentally damaged. If a person retains the ability not to attach too much to anyone and emotionally control himself, then this is exactly what you can desire. In society, I believe, too strong a value is given to underexamined manifestations of emotionality, and the belittling of the role of people who cannot / do not want to show this emotionality because of the peculiarities of the psychotype or for personal reasons.

Answer 5
January, 2021

Well, this is a natural mechanism ...

We are not able to empathize with the deceased - we simply cannot imagine ourselves in his place) As Brodsky said, “death is what happens to others. " Therefore, when a loved one dies, we grieve not for him, but solely for the circumstances that we personally lost with his departure, for the part of our own life that left with him.

If with his death we lost a little, then the grief is not great: this happens, for example, in adult children with the loss of very old parents ...

But so living people, who grieve before your eyes - yes, you can empathize and empathize ... This is both empathy and mutual emotional induction: negative emotions are extremely contagious ...

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