If you turned to me for a consultation, I would not pay attention to "I do not want to live", because there is no effective component, but for "self-destruction", tk. I realized that it has an active, active character. We would discuss with you your relationship with self-destruction or self-destruction.
Let's try to do it right now. Please take a sheet of paper. Choose what you want to explore: self-destruction or your relationship with it. Or you can come up with another wording that suits you. Now please answer 2 blocks of questions. Try to stay focused, not distracted. It is best to choose a secluded, comfortable place.
Block 1: How does self-destruction affect you, your relationships with people? When did Self-Destruction begin in your life? What are your ideas and values that support self-destruction? Were there times when self-destruction could appear, but you did not release it on stage? If so, how did you manage it? What self-destruction prompted you to do against your best intentions? Self-destruction, during the time that it is with you, how did it manage to change your life?
The second block of questions is larger, but I would advise you to focus on it. I would divide this block into three groups of questions:
What does self-destruction affect, what does it hinder, what makes you do, how does it affect what you dream about and can dream about, how you see your future, how others treat you?
How do you like what's going on? (see answers to the first group of questions) Like it or not? Is there something that you are neutral / good about?
Why don't you like this? (or like it, it's better to answer about each item separately). What is important that it hinders (or helps)? Why is this (see answer to previous question) important?
and now the most important thing. We reached values (oh, how I love values!).
You have, I hope, explored your self-destructive relationship and adopted a more conscious position.
please see your answers to the most recent 2 questions. This is probably the main thing. Think, and it is better to write down, was it so that it would have been / achieved in your life earlier? How? If you could ask you then what he thinks about the latest events, what would he say? How can you come to this again? What small step can you take in this direction now?
and for dessert, we would talk about your understanding of "making life normal". Why, for what / who to force? What results would you get? What is it, in your understanding, "to live normally"? Have you always thought so, where did you get this idea from? Do you know someone who doesn't follow her?
Go for it! And for efficiency it is better to answer in writing.
"To live normally" means to comply with the norms accepted in a particular society in a particular period of time. This cannot mean anything else :) Because there is no great absolute Norm in the last instance. It turns out the following: you do not want to conform to the norms of your environment, but you want to self-destruct. But for some reason, you sometimes have thoughts that living by someone else's standards is better than engaging in your own, native self-destruction. And now you are already asking a question on TheQuestion with the furious wording "how to force yourself." So - no way. You can push yourself over and over, you can even create an image of a Human-Normal-Living for yourself in the eyes of others, but you will break down again and again, committing harsh and dangerous actions for you. You will kill yourself much faster than if you do not engage in nonsense and live peacefully by your own standards. After all, if you LIKE self-destruction, then you don't want to die right now. So self-destruct for your pleasure, we will all be there.
Until you figure out why you like self-destruction more - nothing. Just make it happen. But usually, if you like self-destruction, there is no desire to live normally. If there is, then there is a reason. This reason must be recognized and consciously used. For example, living for someone you love very much. The image of this person, his experiences will be the main stimulus. Or if you need to create a false impression for others, so as not to interfere with self-destruction. Then you have to ask differently: "How to create such an illusion?" Film And yet it is best to understand what is behind the desire to destroy oneself. Dissatisfaction with yourself? So maybe it's better to find a way to be happy with yourself? To do this, sometimes you need to change not only yourself, but also your environment, it is enough to change your place of residence and / or work, but if you are not ready to change these factors, then I doubt that you really have no desire to live.
I don't understand why I live, while trying to understand what will happen in the future I see a sad picture, life has no meaning for me. I contacted a specialist, sense 0.