How to understand: everything is really that bad in life or you just think too much about problems and get stuck?

How to understand: everything is really that bad in life or you just think too much about problems and get stuck?

IELTS Speaking | What to do when you get stuck

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answers (4)

Answer 1
September, 2021

Fact! You express your thought very competently. Google makes me write more. I like the fact that young people understand a lot more than we did at an earlier age. Clever and well done! This seems to me to be progress. I believe that the more likes and reviews we put, the more widespread the idea will be!

Answer 2
September, 2021

The previous answers, in principle, give an understanding of what to do: to see the difference between winding up and thinking / analyzing the problem, but do not give an understanding of how to do it.

But sometimes it happens that it's hard to see the difference, it's difficult to draw this line: where am I winding myself up? how big is the problem? maybe everything is really bad?

There is a "life hack" tag in the question, and such a life hack really exists to resolve the issue.

I'll start from afar :)

I had depression, with which I turned to a psychologist for help. Then it seemed to me that everything in life was terrible, the black streak would not end, nothing good would happen, and it could not happen to me, because good happens to other people, and no one loves me, not even myself.

When all this took a threatening turn, began to really affect my life and turned into a vicious circle, I went to a specialist.

One of the problems that I voiced was just connected with obsessive thoughts and fixation on failures. She helped me deal with this with two simple exercises:

  1. Automatic Thought Log https://yadi.sk/i/aWo_l5fmu4Rjz

  2. Weekly class schedule https://yadi.sk/i/u56zSgawu4Rky

How did this help:

The Automatic Thought Journal helps to retrospectively and distantly assess the objectivity of your thoughts: was everything in this situation as terrible as I thought when it happened?

The weekly class schedule helped me gauge how much I actually did and how well I did.

At first it was difficult, but then everything is done automatically, and even there is no need to write everything down.

This seems like a little too easy to be true, but in fact, it is a very good technique that actually works.
Of course, it will be great if a specialist helps you with this, but independent work is also very important.

Answer 3
September, 2021

The biggest problem of a person is winding himself up. it's hard not to. I myself constantly come up with something that does not exist. it is very bad both internally and externally. you need to see the difference between winding up and productive analysis of the problem / situation. since people are very emotional, they wind up first and then think (or not think at all). Thinking, as mentioned above, is useful. but one must differentiate one's thoughts and distract from them by all sorts of pleasant trifles. but in general it is difficult to say whether it is a real problem in life or is it an idea, not knowing the whole situation. A problem from the series "why doesn't he call me, why am I bored with him? Oh my God, I'm tired of him, I'm shit and he's a goat, how bad everything is" - this is not a problem. you need to clearly understand what you can call a real problem, and what is just a figment of your imagination. then it will already be possible to look for solutions)

Answer 4
September, 2021

Thinking is useful. Thinking a lot is good. Thinking about the same thing a lot is sometimes destructive. If something bothers you for a long time, does not allow you to function normally, most likely this "something" is not right now, so then the cozy embrace of apathy will push you. I believe that you need to say goodbye to problems right away, at least on an emotional level. Obviously, not all problems are solved overnight, but I always try to prevent them from setting camp in my head. Realize that there is a problem, map out the ways to eliminate it and move on. It may take months to solve it, the main thing is not to get hung up, not to let it feed on your life energy.
Life is often not as bad as it seems to us, even in its most disgusting moments. The main thing is to act. Do not think out too much, do not go into self-flagellation, do not delve into your head. It's all graceful psychological masochism.
I myself suffer from this and constantly struggle with it. Sports, dancing, any physical activity helps, because it helps not to think.
Ah, and more music!

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