How to stop repeating to yourself that I am a nonentity, constantly humiliating, offending yourself and wanting to die for yourself?

How to stop repeating to yourself that I am a nonentity, constantly humiliating, offending yourself and wanting to die for yourself?

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answers (12)

Answer 1
March, 2021

There are two Forces here that act on you.

As you understand both of these forces, you will be able to control them.

One Power (according to the famous parable, we will call it the Black Wolf) scolds you in order to stimulate to victories and medals. Setting this power - either to be the first or not worth living at all.

Where did you get this conviction? Most likely from one of your parents, whom you believed as yourself.

This CV seeks out every mistake and laziness from you and spreads rot, as they whipped our lazy great-great-grandfathers with rods, when those boys chased around the whole day streets and stole food from the wallets of passers-by.

And there is Power - the White Wolf, who pity you and wants to support and praise you for every even the smallest success, for every good deed.

It is this force that makes you look for the answer to the question "how to stop spreading rot?"

Psychologists are in solidarity with the parable of the two wolves, there is only one way out: a little more "feed" the White wolf, then there is more often to praise yourself for every little success, for every good deed. And less to feed the Black Wolf, that is, less to scold yourself for every mistake and laziness.

Over time, the latter will not want to do, and the first will become a habit.

And of course, for the period of such a transition (and it will take at least a couple of years_) it is better to stay away from the parent who raised his Black Wolf to large size and completely obeys this beast. The parent will keep you with him so that there is someone to feed his beast and not be left alone.

And stay close to those who praise rather than criticize.

Answer 2
March, 2021

The article is completely crap, as expected. And I am not the only one who understood this, judging by the comments. And this is not even surprising, since this is said by a psychologist, a representative of the brightest pseudoscience.

All these attempts and advice are in vain, and there will still be no result, even if suddenly someone believes and tries, because a person is what he is. And his consciousness is set by genetics, which some moronic advice of false doctors = psychologists will never change.

Answer 3
March, 2021

but I like to gnash myself, talk about what kind of creature I am. and call names for everyone)) if it was possible, I would beat myself to an idiot. I'm fucking shit))

Answer 4
March, 2021

If you talk like that, then you don't know yourself at all. You can do everything and you will succeed. You are God's creation, then you are beautiful. You are a person. Do not trust? Write to me in HP, let's talk!

Answer 5
March, 2021

Global changes are difficult, so I propose to conduct a sluggish offensive on all fronts. 1. Understand what causes the greatest rejection in yourself. If you look, then go get a beautiful haircut and change clothes for a start. Clothing is a modern human armor, it protects from the initial negative assessment of others and increases self-confidence. If the character - to correct it by willful effort: learn to say no, become punctual, etc. It is very important to never do anything in spite of it, because only unruly teenagers do this, and these actions never achieve the effect you expected. 2. It is difficult to stop seeing the negative around, therefore we are looking for separately taken pleasing things. For example, if you love a photo, join a group of amateur photographers and write positive comments under your favorite photos. Tell sneezing people on the street "be healthy". Communicate very politely, reduce any negative side to a joke. All this greatly improves the overall mood. 3. As soon as self-deprecating thoughts come up, force yourself to think about something else, for example, imagine how to fix a leaking faucet in the kitchen. 4. Try to understand the reasons for this phenomenon. For a long time I hated myself, because I did not develop a relationship with the opposite sex. As soon as I realized that I myself was falling in love with goats, everything worked out pretty quickly - I fell in love with a good person and got married - that's right, the normcore came like this in my not such a kufseh life. It was I who suddenly remembered a scene with myself when I was four: my mother left me with my father, who hated me, promising that she would drink% & * it with a frying pan if I got even one new bruise. He read the book all the time and glared at me angrily, because I really wanted his attention and constantly climbed to him. And then in adulthood, I just climbed to all sorts of% @ # am. 5. To a psychologist, IMHO, it is better not to go. For he will blow in your ears for big money, as you must forgive everyone. You do not owe anything to anyone - if a person did a bad thing to you, he deserves such an attitude, you just need to score on him, he simply is not worth the worry. But the psychotherapist is worth visiting, I was very pleased - for the first time in a long time I was able to relax. I can recommend the clinic. 6. Do yoga and drink ivan tea. Soothes, life becomes less disgusting. 7. To work for wear, as advised here, is not worth it. It will get worse. Sleep more. 8. Get a cat or dog from a shelter. Only with the full consciousness of responsibility that now it is impossible to kill himself, because no one will take care of him, and that a lot of money for treatment and good food will be needed. 9. Communicate with positive people, although they are terribly annoying. Good luck!

Answer 6
March, 2021

Very familiar, so I want to express myself. I begin to humiliate myself when I stop fulfilling my promises (I lose my diet, do not fulfill my work plan, etc.). Moreover, I noticed that I am in complete balance and such thoughts do not appear only when I am fully loaded. Just plowing in - and I will be in harmony with myself, thoughts like these go away by themselves.

The conclusion suggests itself, and it is simple - I am a workaholic by nature and when I procrastinate, I feel like shit and wish myself death, etc. e. Perhaps you too. If there was no psychological trauma. Google about "hellish week", arrange yourself. If there is no deep psychological connotation, it will help. Yes, it will help in any case - there will be no time for such thoughts at all. Another thing is that to collect the will into a fist and start is already another problem :)

Answer 7
March, 2021

I totally agree with answer number 1 from Ephemerality Exsistentiae.

I can only add one thing - people. Meet, or at least online. About good, or at least ... not very good. About everything, with anyone!

Gradually you will open up, you will see How people relate to you - and if you are not a rare shit (and people with such problems are usually very interesting and not superficial) - they will see the good in you. And you will adopt this attitude, because there is always an exchange between people. Emotional, intellectual exchange.

I hate myself since I realized. Half life, 13 years old. Thanks to the mother for the upbringing, but oh well. I have been working with a psychologist for a year. I am not taken to frequent meetings, as alarmists say here. So there is no need to be afraid: you feel that you have to die, and there is nowhere to wait for help - look. You don't like a doctor, a plumber, a store - you can change - it's the same here.

And remember - this is a simple mistake, a bug of your operating system. Reinstalling Windows is not quick, but sometimes it is vital.

Answer 8
March, 2021

Consider the answers above.

1) Advice to exercise.

Yes, it works, but there is a small nuance to consider. This only works if you want to play sports yourself. If you force yourself to do it out of the way - it won't work.

2) Realize that you are spreading rot on yourself or find out the reason.

Doesn't work at all. It's like if you had caries and you would understand that yes, I have caries, that's why the tooth hurts. Solving a problem is often much more difficult than just realizing its cause, and these are completely different things.

3) Do something all the time.

This can be a temporary solution to the problem. It will work if in the end you find yourself a really interesting hobby that you want to do not only once a week, or a great company. However, the realities are such that often people try to do both, and still can't find something interesting. And here the reason is not that such people have tried a small list of hobbies.

4) Love yourself.

Well this is ridiculous. "Are you sad? Don't be sad!" As if the phrase "I am not sad" to myself and a visit to an amusement park can help.

And now about the psychologist. Specifically, I do not recommend going to a psychologist and here's why: psychologist works only and only with the norm . The psychologist has no right to deal with people with problems. Both a psychologist and a psychotherapist can arrange for you as many classes as you like and prescribe anything, even if you drink the blood of a virgin and urine - they will get nothing for it. They have no responsibility before the court, unlike a psychiatrist, but they have a desire to arrange more classes in order to earn more money. If you do not need medication, the psychiatrist will send you to a psychotherapist, clarify the topic of classes, approximate time and so on, so it will be more difficult for the therapist to deceive you. I advise you to go at least once to a psychiatrist, preferably a paid one.

In postsov countries, there is generally a surprisingly careless attitude to their mental health, where everything is corrected exclusively with pussies and hard work, where they put themselves diagnoses are described on the Internet, and only schizophrenics go to a psychiatrist. No, they are not the only ones. A fairly large part of people in Russia is only shown to walk to him, given the symptoms and a long time without treatment, which only complicates the situation.

Answer 9
March, 2021

What a difficult situation. Oh. Well, I think you need to love yourself. And start taking care of yourself, no matter how trite it may sound. It is necessary to understand that you are you. And you have your life - it's a gift. And only you can help yourself to live your life happily and with dignity. You do not need to negatively set yourself up against yourself. This also has bad consequences. Perhaps your self-loathing has something to do with your childhood or your parents? Maybe you missed their care and support? Did you spend little time? Or are these problems related to peers / classmates / classmates / colleagues / acquaintances? Do you dislike your own appearance or something else about yourself? Any character traits? Maybe you were offended or insulted somewhere in the team? In general, you need to figure out where the legs of your self-loathing grow from. But quite often this occurs in adolescence, when a teenager does not understand himself. And people around (parents, teachers, classmates), instead of support, begin to criticize and lecture. Then a person closes in on himself even more and becomes uncommunicative, irritable, he may show depression, or even suicidal tendencies. Some grow out of adolescence, but do not come out of adolescent problems. That is, an adult can also drag along a load of past problems and grievances. The way out here is this: to communicate more with dear people, with parents or friends, with a loved one. If there was a conflict with someone, then make peace. Try to objectively understand what the problem was in the past, and try not to repeat it in the future. More communication with interesting people, more walks in the fresh air. Waking up early, jogging, horizontal bars, or the gym. Read more interesting books. Busy with study / work, so that there is no time for whining and self-delusion. Find new friends. There are many different sections, circles, language centers, music schools, etc. Find some hobby or hobby for yourself. You can get a pet. A cat or a dog)) They soothe and teach to take care of someone else. Pull yourself together. Think that you are not a bad person. And you deserve happiness and health) Success) And only you can love yourself and believe in yourself! Do it yourself! Feel free to ask your mom / dad / friends for support. And consult a psychologist if it is difficult to cope yourself. Suddenly he will help unravel all these tangled tangle of problems) A psychologist is not a shame, it is very useful. I wish you strength and good luck! Love yourself and your mom! And take care of yourself! You are alone))

Answer 10
March, 2021

As my unloved Carnegie said, "Stay busy. This is the cheapest medicine on earth - and one of the most effective."

And wait and throw stones.

First. Employment. Prepare an unusual dish, go for a walk, read a book, meet with a friend (from the banal), start learning some new area for you, run (any physical activity is useful) or do some kind of sport, try to learn to dance, sing, master musical instrument, physics, chemistry, learn anatomy, whatever. The main thing is to do something that you are interested in and like, if it is tight with it (and in this state, most likely), then just do something. The magic pill consists not only in the fact that you simply distract yourself from such an oppressed self-destructive state, but also in the fact that while engaging in any activity you will make efforts to carry it out, you will use and create resources for further activities, you will interacting with other people (most likely), it can be difficult or even painful, but just as useful, yet the influence of other people often improves the condition. But the main secret is that in this way you will grow your self-esteem, making some progress, learning something new, you will not only concentrate your attention on activities, but (well, at least minimally and periodically) you will be satisfied with yourself. And such things are worth saving and using correctly.

Second. Awareness. The biggest problem of this state is that sticking, looping occurs, a person closes in the circle of his thoughts and ... often he cannot leave this vicious circle on his own. Usually, injection occurs to a critical point, and then ... depends on the situation. But most often, some circumstances weaken the pressure of such auto-aggression, so self-flagellation occurs in periods, so to speak, from aggravation to remission. If you cannot cope with your self-destructive thoughts at the moment when they are most vivid and literally put pressure on you, then try to wait until your consciousness clears up a little (and this will happen anyway, you cannot endlessly self-depreciate yourself). So, in moments when you can look a little more soberly and calmly at the situation, try to understand what is happening, try to catch yourself on how this auto-aggression mechanism arises, what activates it, how you feel, how you think, in principle. The more often you realize that you are just spreading rot on yourself, the easier it is to deal with it. Your task is to understand that you do not adequately assess reality and yourself.

Third. You need to weaken your critical state and stabilize it (apparently the first and third would be worth swapping). The most nightmarish emotional state will pass, that's for sure, it is worth being patient, not worsening and waiting for a recession. And it is better to make an effort and help yourself to come to at least an imaginary norm. For this, it is best to calm down, ask for help, again busyto be something, a great way would be to change the environment (this is very sobering) and to surround yourself as much as possible with positive, something good (or better let your loved ones do it, you can also ask for it).

I myself I am a masochistic person, prone to self-flagellation and self-harm, therefore, under my own skin, I lived auto-aggression in all its glory. You can live with this in the background, but it is better to just get rid of, change, or at least try to change such an installation-view of yourself. It is the installation. And this can definitely be done. And it's also very nice to accept yourself imperfect as you are.

In general, you need to stabilize the state by removing the critical influence of self-destructive thoughts and work on it, and probably you should start with low self-esteem, insecurity and self-rejection. You can help yourself, especially if you have such a desire and strength. Or you can turn to a specialist for help, which will be faster and more efficient, but financially more expensive.

The main thing is to remember that you are just you. You are not a product on a shelf among a pile of other products with price tags everywhere. You are a person, as equal as others. Respect yourself.

Answer 11
March, 2021

Engage yourself in grueling work for the good of someone else. For example, go to help in an orphanage or accompany grandmothers on the way from the clinic to the house, rescue stray animals, volunteer for cancer patients ... In general, you get the idea. This way you can show yourself that you can do a lot.

Answer 12
March, 2021

Sorry! This condition is difficult to endure. It is best to work out the problem with a psychologist. Advice advice, but a real meeting and the necessary techniques will rather help here. By the way, such a strong rejection of oneself can be caused by hostility from the outside. Look around, maybe others reproach you for something? In this case, it would be good to learn to abstract from someone else's assessment and simply and selfishly try to accept and love yourself as you are.

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