"forget it, you're not fat, accept yourself, don't pay attention to the opinions of others" - if all this worked, all women and men (yes, even they) would have stopped asking this question long ago
Six months ago, I was desperate and thought: well, do I really have to hate my body all my life, lose weight, periodically breaking down, and experience an unimaginable feeling of guilt and shame, allegedly for lack of will. No, you don't have to. It's an eating disorder, it's not just cockroaches in your head. But ERP can be cured and improved relationships with food and yourself. I was saved by this book:
"INTUITIVE Eating: how to stop worrying about food and lose weight" (by S. Bronnikova) - it is not about ways to lose weight, but about restructuring your thinking.
this book seems to be the best I've read. the best because it is the most useful and eye-opening. after her, such insights happen, ah. Now I have radically changed in relation to myself, to my body and the bodies of others, to food, ........................ in short, my body and yours are wonderful , that's what
I advise you to do one very curious thing: google how many people are trying to lose weight. These results should not make you similar to other people who are losing weight, but, by definition, give something different. Ask yourself: Why do over 80% of women CONSTANTLY want to lose weight? If so many people want to lose weight for some reason, then this does not change? Accordingly, will they want to lose weight later or not, even if they lose the desired 5/10/20/50 kg? Probably yes.
Losing weight for a person of almost any size is a life-long process. Most people are dissatisfied with their appearance - however, women are worse with mass. Remember that this is_stereotype_. That one thing is in fashion now, and then another. It's difficult, it's incredible, but just try to understand that no matter how much you try to lose weight, you will most likely never be enough.
Look at beautiful actresses in your size or more. I noticed that women with my figure or more than mine eat quietly. They have Instagram photos of food. They have normal, adequate pictures, where they are closer to me than the women I most often see on the screen. And despite the fact that they are not VERY thin, they are insanely beautiful.
Think of the heroes and heroines that you liked in childhood or school. Did you love them for their figure or ingenuity, for their character or for their hip girth? Try to remember that your figure often makes you a hostage. Instead of getting closer to the characters that we most likely would like to be like, we think about such little things as a mark on the scales.
And get rid of people who criticize your position. I don't mean mildly, I mean head-pounding creatures who ask why fat is hanging, why not size xxs, why there is no gym membership. They also poison self-esteem.
I can tell you on the example of my wife, who was also ashamed of her body. After giving birth, she typed and it was really hard for her to throw off. But I supported her in this, we even went to a psychologist. We found a small and to some extent cozy fitness club, where she has been going for the third month. The result is visible, but psychologically it became easier for her to look at all this. By the way, the subscription itself, which I took her for half a year, was snatched through spam with a 70% discount. She does not like to spend too much, because it was also a good sign for her.
If you are an adequate person without any deviations and your obsessive desire to lose weight does not occur simultaneously with such processes as anorexia nervosa, bulimia and self-harm, then everything will pass if you find a person who will give you the feeling that he loves you and how you look, he likes your figure, despite the fact that she is completely disgusting to you. Well, if you don't find such a person, then you need to look for motivation. in the open spaces of Russian-speaking publics about anorexia, there was a good way of motivation - you make a list of your weight in kilograms in descending order: from the one that you have now minus the kilogram to the weight that you would like. and opposite each kilogram you write what you always wanted to buy or what you need, but you buy cheaper counterparts. lose weight - go and pamper yourself.
to understand why you need this thinness? if you are comfortable in your current body and weight and this is not because of any health indications, if you feel that these are all imposed standards of beauty, and you so good, then generally forget the opinion of the public! is another matter if you understand that it will still be better for your health. here the main thing is not to harm. sometimes it is better to have a couple of extra pounds than bags under the eyes, a dead stomach from exhausting diets and always a bad mood)
You just need to know one simple fact: there are 3000 rubles per kilogram dropped. So, can you imagine what billions they are? Even though these prices are 4-5 years old, now they are twice as high. Moreover, they can be obtained quite easily, you just need to repeat this often to the majority, whose thinking has recently been simplified. As they say, a lie told a hundred times becomes true.
If you are asking about actions directly, then it is better not to pay attention to it. It is better to develop intelligence, it is appreciated, though less often, but higher. And appearance changes with age.
PS: Google "Victorian Beauty Standards" and you will be surprised.
If there is a medical opinion from a doctor about being overweight, then it would be a good option to follow the recommended diet.
If your problem is out of the ordinary "weigh 50 kg with a height of 175 cm, it is a shame to go outside because of fat cheeks ", then you need to understand why you are harassing yourself with this. To be beautiful? But beauty is subjective, and fashion is changeable: yesterday is unhealthy thinness, tomorrow is an ass like Kim Kardashian. It may be worth contacting a psychologist.
And it's better to just stop bothering about this and start looking for flaws inside, not outside
Sick question. From my own experience I will say: nothing. For myself, I realized one important thing - my body has two states: the first is the body in which I feel comfortable and the second is the body in which I feel uncomfortable. So, personally, I have never been able to get rid of bad thoughts about my body if I experience any discomfort.
Well, firstly, to score on the opinions of others, armed with healthy indifference. Secondly, accept yourself as you are, with all the advantages and disadvantages, and allow yourself to be imperfect. All this, in my opinion, can only be done by a person with adequate self-esteem (if you do not have it such, it is necessary to work on it). Film However, there is one more nuance. Physical attractiveness for a girl is very important, as it affects not only the attention of the opposite sex in relation to her and her self-esteem, but also her health, mood, attitude. Whatever one may say, but if you are uncomfortable in your weight and in your figure, you will not be happy with yourself. Film You must love your body. Be in love. And it will respond in kind to you. Hunger strikes and pestilence are not love for the body. Eating is not love for the body. Self-love is a reverent attitude, first of all. Leaving, adherence to a reasonable regimen without stressing to extremes. As soon as you start to love yourself and your body, it will begin to change. Sport helps very well in this, and indeed any physical activity.