How to let go of the past and start living in the present?

How to let go of the past and start living in the present?

How to Let Go of the Past and Live in the Present Moment -- Letting Go Here and Now!

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Answers (4)

Answer 1
October, 2020

If the past drags you in and does not allow you to live fully in the present, then you have something important left there. Perhaps there was something there that cannot be in the present, or something that you do not want to leave there. Or the present together with the future are so painful and unpleasant for you that you do not want to be in them, and then the past becomes the only possible place to stay.

In gestalt therapy, we would also talk about the presence of unclosed gestalts that draw your attention to themselves, wanting to be complete. Think about what you haven't done in the past? What experience remained unfinished for you? How could you complete it now?

Close gestalts is possible only when you are here and now. It is important to live your relationship to the past in the context of the actual current situation. How do you feel now when you think about the past in which you live? What emotions are you experiencing? How do you feel about him? How could you express this to another person that you would like to tell? Try to do this in any way you can. Tell me directly or write.

If your feelings about your past are shared with another person (this can take a very long time, try not to rush), this in itself will be a huge step from life in the past into life in the present.

Answer 2
October, 2020

Static exercises like "meditation" help with this. Sit yourself calmly, look at one point and observe what is going on in your head. The main thing is to observe, not get carried away with something. Do not think out, do not look for the right answer and so on. Gradually everything will subside in the head and "the past will be released." Yes, you still need to keep your back straight and not move, as well as count the breaths (this helps not to get carried away by the storm of thoughts in your head). This is a static exercise. It helps very well, especially as you train. Ten minutes and silence inside, and the "past" is in the past.

Answer 3
October, 2020

Somewhere I read this point of view that in fact, only 20% of the past really affects us emotionally and makes us worry. The rest is just our thoughts about him, which we think over and over again in our head. Roughly speaking, if a girl breaks up with a boyfriend, then only 20% does she really suffer, the remaining 80% is pain because she thinks about this situation over and over again.

The conclusion is less thoughts about an unpleasant topic. Forcing yourself not to think about something is not as difficult as it might seem at first glance. For example, if you're reminiscing about the past on the way to work, put yourself an audiobook to distract your thoughts. Well, the surest remedy is, of course, to fall in love))

Answer 4
October, 2020

There are not one but two questions. Because letting go of the past, you will not automatically start living in the present.

As for the first part of the question. How to let go of the past?

Accept it. Bad news (which is also a little good):

  1. The past is an integral part of life, which is and will not go anywhere from you. And you can't run away from her either.

  2. You cannot forget the past completely. It's impossible. You cannot erase memories from memory unless you get into a car accident. The past will come back and remind of itself from time to time. But it is in your power to make unpleasant memories come up less often and bright ones more often.

  3. You will not change what has already happened. Just accept it.

Good news (which is also a bit bad):

  1. The past will not repeat itself. You will never experience the same thing again. You will not go through the same unpleasant moments again. Everything, they happened, you went through them. You are free.

  2. You can change your attitude towards your past. You are also absolutely free to do this.

You can change your attitude to the past so that it pops up in memory less often and does not interfere with living (present, future, eternal - it does not matter) in the following directions:

  1. Do not regret what you did, even if it seems to you that you the current one would have acted differently. “To repent is to add new stupidity to complete stupidity,” as Friedrich Nietzsche said. You-who-you-were-then could not have acted otherwise. You possessed the set of information and qualities that led you to this particular choice, and not to any other. Think about what you would do if you were in this situation again. Same? Great, so there is nothing to regret - after all, you did the right thing. How else? How exactly? Think about it, but don't get back on track of regret: answer this question from the perspective of the future, not the past. What will you do next time when faced with a similar situation? Why is it so? How can experience help you make the right decision?

  2. Do not think that everyone around you remembers some kind of your get on and procrastinate it. First, what seems to you to be crap may not be perceived so by other people. Or perceived, but much simpler: and with whom, in fact, does not happen? Secondly, you are most likely exaggerating the scale of the "shame". Third, people are fixated on themselves. Most people are so focused on running through their own failures in their heads that there is no room for yours.

  3. Forgive those who treated you unfairly. If you believe in God, then pray for them. "Delegate" this problem to God, you have no right to judge and determine the "measure of punishment". God will judge. If you are not religious, then you should definitely forgive already from other, rational considerations: the person acted unfairly with you, and you yourself are multiplying the harm and pain that he has caused you. Forgive yourself: your abuser is notAnet from this is easier in any way. But throw these people out of your life. Do not communicate with them, do not provide any services to them: this is not the moment when you have to be generous.

  4. Indulge in nostalgia for the good times, but remember, there's something even better ahead of you. You cannot even imagine what it will be yet. Don't miss this while sighing for the past. :)

I'll move on to the second part of the question. How to start living in the present? Develop concentration. Whatever you do, keep track of where you are. Is this your place? Is the role that you play in your work team, among loved ones or in general in life at this particular moment suitable for you? Do you want to change it?

Pay attention to small pleasures and joys, celebrate pleasant moments and live them fully. Communicate, joke, flirt - all these involve us in the present moment. Take up a sport that requires reaction, even tennis is fine. Try to do less routine physical work, do not do what is boring and you don't want to. Find a way to give it up. Invest energy in building good relationships with others. Not "promising", "correct", but rather good, pleasant, comfortable for you.

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