Why do you need to overcome it? You can achieve your goals in life without being confident, and that's even better. Most likely, in reality, you want not to be overconfident, but to experience less stress while doing certain things. To do this, you need to learn from those people who are not stressed, observe them, learn their techniques, communicate with them and copy. Stress is a useful thing, it signals to you that you do not know how to do something and you need to learn it. Naked impudently - most likely, you will only ruin everything. And if you don't have stress, why do you need blind self-confidence?
Uncertainty arises at the moment of comparing yourself with someone or something and the opinion that you must be able to do this. Otherwise, you are "unsuccessful", "stupid", "weak", etc.
Due to 9 months of depression, I developed that very self-doubt. I think there is no need to describe the symptoms, everyone already knows what it is when you are afraid to simply ask the bus driver to stop at the bus stop. Time helped me personally. I grieved all the depression, as expected, cut my hands a little. Now my boyfriend is doing everything to improve my self-esteem. Compliments me every day. May I say that it helped me? Yes, it certainly helped. But it passed somehow slowly, but with abrupt steps. I myself did not notice the result. As for the advice, here's what helped me: 1. You see people around you. What are they doing? They laugh, talk about something. Some are acting very disgusting and unceremonious. Why can't you do the same? Are you worse than them? I don’t think so. You are gold, which in the same way has all the rights to speak with people, to defend your interests and not to be silent in a rag. 2. Find yourself a person. It can be a friend (girlfriend), acquaintance (s), your significant other. The main thing is that he noticed your problem and tried to somehow push you to communicate with people. After all, +1 person in your environment adds at least acquaintance with new people, where you can practice in a conversation.
Remembering yourself years ago:
Only practice will help. Books, magazines, articles will give you good theory that you can shove deeper. You need skills, not knowledge.
Uncertainty in yourself is, in simple terms, means that you consider yourself worse than those around you. Hence, you yourself lower your rank in front of them, and any communication causes discomfort, as if you were communicating with the authorities.
Choose criteria for evaluating people - what is important to you in them? Confidence is knowing that in these aspects you are at least on a par. (hint - but you can choose the aspects where you are better, but for now we will consider it cheating).
Income, appearance, physical condition, work with posture, voice, your cockroaches, hobbies, the ability to express your thoughts, a developed sense of humor - what you need to pump all your life. Here's the program for the coming years.
* looked at myself after the holidays. However, sometimes you can take pauses when you have confidence, of course :)
З.Ы. And most importantly - evaluate your environment - relatives, relatives, friends. Do not hesitate to say goodbye to those who drag you back, allows yourself to belittle you and your values, even if it is your own mother. Fill the vacated space with those people next to whom you will achieve your goals.
З.З.Ы. The most important thing is to understand once that people always choose the best option for them. And nobody owes anything to anyone. There is no justice. This is actually better understood once.
First. First you need to understand what exactly your insecurity is, because all people are afraid and embarrassed of different things.
Imagine the most uncomfortable situation in which you "get lost". What is this situation? When there are a lot of people around or, on the contrary, not enough? When do you need to do something publicly? When you communicate with someone who is familiar and whose opinion is important to you, or vice versa, with a stranger? Without understanding this, it will be difficult to move on. Sometimes people consider themselves insecure, although, in fact, they simply do not know how to do something: public speaking, reports, interviews are a skill, a skill. If you do not have it, you may feel that something is not working out for you, something is going wrong and you start to be ashamed of it.
Understand your "weakness", then you can definitely fight it "pointwise".
Second. Remember. Nobody is interesting to anyone. Nobody thinks about you, nobody laughs at you, nobody points a finger, nobody discusses. Everyone has their own problems. Nobody wants your problems. Do you think a lot about the people around you on the subway? Well, probably, if they really somehow really stand out, they are rude, fight or are dressed like Lady GaGa, you, at best, take them off on your mobile phone - but even in this case, after 15 minutes you will forget. Lack of self-confidence often comes from what you believe: you are being looked at, you are judged, you may be misunderstood. They don't look at all, they don't think anything, they don't even try to understand.
Third. Very often, girls' lack of confidence is due to dissatisfaction with their appearance or weight. Personally, when I am thin and dressed, I can move mountains and vice versa, knowing that today I look "not very" I can shake off and screw up. Pick up at least one suit in which you are 100% confident. Let it have something a little more "cool" than you usually wear - custom earrings, high shoes, etc. - something so that they could come up to you and say "wow, where did you get this from?" - it greatly increases self-esteem.
Eating a light, unloading diet or getting into the habit of going to the gym or jogging in the morning will also build your self-esteem.
Fourth. Speak loudly and clearly. Keep your head and shoulders straight. Train even in the most uncomfortable situations for you. Clearly, loudly, like an announcer. Slowly, don't mumble. Let it become a habit. Nobody will condemn you - people with such a speech are respected, afraid and a priori perceived as potential leaders.
Fifth. Don't be afraid to say no and yes. Want - means clear yes. If you don’t want it, it’s clear. At the same time, within yourself, you must unambiguously understand yes or no - often uncertainty comes from internal doubts: I certainly do not like this company, but Misha is also there, he is cheerful, it is inconvenient to refuse. Probably worth going. No, not worth it.
Sixth. Read, watch a good movie, go to the theater. Knowledge very effectively destroys any complexes.
Seventh. Feel free to be shy. Cocky and shamelessa person has never been better than a sweet, modest and slightly shy intellectual.
A couple of years of such work on yourself and you will understand that you are a unique, wonderful, intelligent and interesting person who is doing great.
There is no easy way to get rid of insecurity. You will have to step over yourself, but the reward in the form of new opportunities, business and friendships is worth it.
I would not say that gaining confidence means leaving your comfort zone. This transition can be very painful. It is better to expand your comfort zone so that its boundaries are no longer felt.
You should often do what scares. When I pushed my way through my teens, I was so tight-lipped that even talking to a salesperson was overwhelming. To get rid of this, I deliberately pestered the consultants with questions - over time, the fear passed.
Work that requires maximum communication skills also saves from being stuck. I personally know journalists who came to the profession for the sake of getting rid of complexes - and it turns out the same!
Since you are a girl, Anna, your self-doubt is most likely rooted in the assessments of others. Maybe someone in the family was afraid to once again praise and say how smart you are, or "for educational purposes" scolded you for the slightest mistakes, so that because of this you become like an incorporeal angel.
Here gentlemen are higher advised you to work on yourself, they are certainly right, but only if you were a man. How else to explain the existence of successful women in different social spheres, who suffer from self-doubt as adolescents? (Remember the same "Office Romance")
Achievements increase self-esteem for men, for us girls, this is not suitable.
No matter how much you work on yourself, it will not help you much, perhaps indirectly. And it will help you - changing the environment. Try to communicate only with those people who praise you, say how beautiful, wonderful, how clever, how talented you are, who give you sincere compliments. And don't think that you have to deserve them, you are a girl, you are beautiful on your own, without any achievements there :)
P / S: I looked at your FB profile, you are really a beauty, what you don't have)
The secret is very simple: the next time, as soon as you feel fear or insecurity, break the stereotype - do what you fear, deliberately, uncertainly, whatever, just do it.
Why will you succeed? - You have only one life, if you don't try to become what you want in this one, you won't have any more chances. Become one today and don't stop being one.
And remember: your fears are the strongest you have. As long as you overcome them, you grow to heaven!