How to deal with feelings of inadequacy, shyness and reluctance to open up when your body doesn't fit your ideal boyfriend?

How to deal with feelings of inadequacy, shyness and reluctance to open up when your body doesn't fit your ideal boyfriend?

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answers (5)

Answer 1
April, 2021

Any body lends itself to training and change. I'm talking about sports and work on yourself. If a guy doesn't like being overweight / thin, work on yourself. And you will increase your self-esteem, and you will achieve a result, and you will do a good thing in principle. Any other elements that cannot be changed are not worth the discussion. If you have six fingers, look for someone who likes six fingers.

Answer 2
April, 2021

And why did you, in fact, decide that you are not his ideal? If he himself imposed this on you, then perhaps you should think about whether this is a loving person?

if he met you already SUCH , then it is logical that he liked you just like that, not perfect ...

Believe me, a loving guy ALWAYS will try to liberate the girl if he feels shy (and they do), say how beautiful she is, how beautiful her body is, how he loves him, caress you in every possible way until that moment, until this feeling of shyness goes away.

__In my example, I will say that with my young man, who is 9 years older than me, at first I was so shy that I almost covered my chest with my hands , as soon as the light turned on, and he could only dream about sex in the light (by the way, my body is beautiful, as I found out for myself later), but the feeling of inferiority did not go away, and as soon as he managed to look at me naked, I immediately fell through the ground, after which the continuation was for me something like torture. And so every day he tried to do so that I could not even think that I was non-sexual, and you know, I completely forgot about my complexes and began to feel the most desirable.
Try to figure out what the problem is, maybe you underestimate yourself after all, because if he is with you, it means that he loves you like that!
Stop cheating yourself, I'm sure not everything is so bad! Just learn to love yourself and your body.

__

Answer 3
April, 2021

I will try to be as practical as possible. First, if you are not in line with the guy's ideals, the first question is, what is he doing to you? discusses how far from ideal you are? and in general, why does he need ideals if he is with you?

Secondly, suppose a guy likes something that you do not have, for example, a small nose, or big breasts. I take the liberty of saying that if a guy is not blind, then he noticed it long ago and took it for granted. so there is no cause for concern. So he likes everything. And lastly, perhaps you personally have something that can embarrass you, for example, a scar, or disproportion, or excessive moles. In this case, I advise you to carefully discuss, before direct eye contact, so as not to get into an awkward position.

Answer 4
April, 2021

I can add to the above. If you are worried about the fact that the body does not correspond to the ideals of the guy, then this is his problem. Most likely, he has not yet had a completely mature attitude towards his partner, since he is guided by his imaginary models of women, and not by the existing reality. If you are constantly being told that you are not conforming, then it is worth understanding the reasons: 1) you can be manipulated, which can lead to painful dependence on a partner. 2) they want to motivate you, because your body may actually talk about health problems (thinness too, even more so). In this case, either start exercising, eating right yourself or with a guy

Answer 5
April, 2021

NOTHING real is perfect. By definition.

How much we - alive, imperfect, real, disappointing - people, not fantasies - can be liked by a specific person, how much we are both imperfect! - it can be good together ... - It's like people enter water in two ways. Someone immediately, with a running start. I am among those who get used to it a little bit.

If you have shyness, embarrassment of your body - well, don't rush. Talk to your boyfriend. Get to know him. Sniff each other. Trust little by little, no faster than YOU are comfortable with. Share your doubts, listen and watch his reaction. And with any reaction at any stage of the relationship - remember that this is precisely and only his reaction; it happens that good people do not coincide for various reasons.

You are in Novosibirsk, there should be a lot of practical psychology and there should be a lot of different ones) Trainings in bodily areas are quite ... If you are of age and mobile, good trainings for development sexuality and acceptance of your body from Igor Nezovibatko.

Finally, if your age is closer to adolescence, dissatisfaction with your body and appearance then may be an age-related feature ("adolescent dysmorphomania"), which is left behind simply with growing up.

Good luck!)

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