Yes, there are such ways. A good psychologist does this - he helps to make sure that traumatic experiences are lived through, completed and go into the background.
In the strict sense, it is impossible to forget something (some scientists are not sure that we can forget something at all, it is assumed that it just becomes very difficult for us to remember), but you can make this memory perceived as ordinary, like everyone else, integrate it into your experience. When viewed scientifically, painful memories are supported by two factors: misinterpretation (the memory triggers unrealistically negative automatic thoughts and negative beliefs) and avoidance (people tend to try to suppress or distract themselves from these memories). p>
Accordingly, the methods described in other comments, as a rule, only aggravate the painfulness of the memory. In order: trying not to think about something increases the frequency of this emerging in the mind (this has been shown experimentally, you can google thought suppression); limiting the stimuli provoking the memory leads to the fact that you have to avoid a very wide range of situations, which will constantly grow, and if a memory nevertheless occurs, it will be even more painful (avoidance behavior in acute stress survivors has also been described many times); attempts to distract, as one might assume, also do not help and only increase the painfulness of the memory.
Simple discussion and analysis of the traumatic experience leads to a decrease in its painfulness in the short term, but does not change anything in the long term, because the person is without preparation cannot identify those cognitive processes that make the memory painful and effectively change them (this is googled on the phenomena of rumination, belief perseverance and confirmation bias). Accordingly, people, by default, tend during such discussions to reinforce their interpretation of events, which supports the painfulness of the memory.
There are two real solutions, and each of them is problematic to apply, simply by reading advice on the Internet, because they require specific training: one can be taken from trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT), the other from eye movement desensitization and processing (DPDG). Both are based on the modification of belief, which is activated when a person recalls an experience.
For this, in fact, you need to identify the belief. This can be done using the downward descent technique, consistently asking the question of what this situation means and how (what) you were in this situation. Usually the result looks like "I am bad", "I am weak", "Nobody loves me" etc. You can make sure you get to the basic belief by asking yourself, "What does it mean to me (for example) to be bad." If the answer looks like "Nothing. I'm just bad," then you are there. It is very difficult or impossible to get down below.
DPDG suggests that you can change your emotional response simply by remembering a childhood experience and thinking about the exact opposite of a negative belief. This is the most mechanical way in whichThe difficulty lies in the fact that you have to endure a gap in which you will have very little faith in a positive belief.
TF-CBT involves a more sophisticated procedure - modification of interpretation. Approximate plan: 1. Determine what is meant by a negative belief and what is meant by its alternative. Which behavior corresponds to each of them. 2. Assess how much you believe that the situation indicates that ; as far as you believe that this situation indicates that . 3. List the evidence for one belief or the other. 4. Criticize evidence for a negative belief and seek additional evidence for a positive one. 5. Assess your belief in each of them.
The distress of a memory decreases when it becomes associated with positive beliefs. After that, if you avoid some situations in which you recalled that incident from childhood, it would be useful for you to try to face them and control your beliefs, remind yourself of counterarguments against negative and arguments in favor of positive.
In general, such therapy can be expected to reduce the frequency of influx of painful memories and negative emotional reactions to them. The therapy is assumed to be successful if you can recall the episode without discomfort. As you might guess, their canvases of text, this is a non-trivial task for independent work and it can be complicated by three factors - I cannot state all the details here and, accordingly, it is very easy to get confused about what to do and why to do it; I have an idea of how the painfulness of your memories is maintained, but I am still missing important details; It can be problematic to disassemble beliefs on your own, without the help of a therapist, because you have lived with them all your life, they seem familiar to you and very believable - finding them refutations on your own can be a non-trivial task.
You can try what I have described here. You can download the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy guide and look for details there. If you are familiar with English, you can google something like PTSD cognitive model and PTSD cbt treatment for more information. Or, as an option, you can contact a specialist, and use what I have written here as guidelines for your expectations about what will happen during therapy. Good luck in solving the problem :)
P.S. By referring to PTSD I do not imply that you meet the criteria for PTSD, but painful memories are one of the symptoms of PTSD and, accordingly, therapy techniques for this disorder may be useful for you.
yes. but you won't do it yourself. experienced professionals - be they psychologists or hypnosis - can put “barriers” on specific memories. you yourself can only try not to remember them, but with a strong impulse related to what happened, the brain will give you pictures from memory
in fact, there are certain techniques and techniques for forgetting the unpleasant sensations that cause certain memories. I'll tell you about the technique that helped me. you need to imagine that you are on the shore and draw an unpleasant situation that happened to you, in every detail on the wet sand. then you need to move away from the picture and watch how it was washed away by the waves.
Isn't it easier to relive this moment and learn from it? If you are wondering how to survive, that is, practical techniques in NLP, and if the trauma is very strong, I would recommend contacting a psychotherapist, because self-correction will be difficult and may lead to unwanted complications.
Never remember probably not .. But just not thinking about it - yes. If this moment arises, immediately start thinking about something else, then switch to the second topic and to the third one .. After the third, you won't remember what you originally thought about. It is also better not to write at all or say that you do not want to remember.
According to the theory, yes. For example, a link that looks sensible: http://ru.wikihow.com/%D0%BD%D0%B0%D0%BC%D0%B5%D1%80%D0%B5%D0%BD%D0% BD% D0% BE-% D1% 87% D1% 82% D0% BE% E2% 80% 93% D1% 82% D0% BE-% D0% B7% D0% B0% D0% B1% D1% 8B% D1% 82% D1% 8C
Really forgetting, most likely will not work. But if we are talking about a memory that still "controls" you (affects your mood, makes you feel uncomfortable or even do stupid things), it is advisable to subject the memory to a detailed calm analysis (preferably with a psychologist or a person you trust) - this will help you better understand yourself and your sensitive buttons. If you succeed, the tension will subside and over time this memory, having lost its colors, may completely fail. However, it must be admitted that in the case of severe mental trauma, this is unlikely and at best you will be able to muffle your reactions.