A relative with alcoholism says that he has no problem, and only me has a problem. How to convince to be treated?

A relative with alcoholism says that he has no problem, and only me has a problem. How to convince to be treated?

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answers (2)

Answer 1
August, 2021

How to build your relationship with a person if he suffers from an alcoholic disease?

A general rule for all relatives, regardless of who is sick with them - husband, wife, father, mother, son, daughter , - do nothing that contributes to the development of addiction. This means the following:

  1. The drinking person must solve his problems himself.

Well, if he creates them for himself, let him solve them. Otherwise, he will not have a barrier before the next booze, as he will hope for your help. Sometimes it comes to the point of absurdity: the husband has drunk the whole "family pot", there is nothing in the house, and the wife runs around her acquaintances, borrows money to pay off her husband's debts that he made during the binge.

Don't call an alcoholic to work and say that he was seriously and suddenly ill. First, it is not good to cheat - do not set a bad example for children; secondly, after two or three such calls, no one simply will believe you and they will at least quietly laugh at you; and thirdly - today you will save him from a simple thrashing, which, perhaps, would have stopped him, and tomorrow he will drink even harder and, in the end, will lose his job.

Absolutely unacceptable, with ours point of view, a situation when compassionate relatives buy alcohol themselves in order to get drunk on an alcoholic. With the same success, you can offer a loved one drugs or some other poison.

You must finally realize: alcoholism is a disease, and treatment is not always pleasant and painless.

If, to For example, if a person has an abscess somewhere on his body, then you can hide it under clothes, pour deodorants so that there is no smell, create greenhouse conditions for a person so that he moves less and does not experience pain. As a result, all this will lead to the development of sepsis and death. If, despite the pain, open the abscess, "pierce" the course of antibiotics, although this is also quite painful, then the probability is high that the person will recover.

  1. promises, and if you cannot keep them, then better not give them.

Alcoholics and drug addicts are very sensitive to where they can achieve something, and where there will be a categorical refusal. In this respect, they are like children, and one should often communicate with them as with children: where necessary - praise, and where necessary - punish. But not a single, even the most insignificant episode associated with the use of alcohol should be left without your attention, and, of course, it is necessary that the degree of "punishment" correspond to the degree of "offense". And do not be confused by the respectable age and representative appearance of the "guilty". A sensible carrot and stick policy often yields good results in a wide variety of age groups and in a wide variety of social strata.

For example, if a wife promises her husband that in the event of another binge she will divorce him, and he comes literally on the same evening "on his eyebrows", then she, at least, should write a letter of divorce the next day and askb the husband to sign that he agrees. The application submitted to the registry office can always be taken away, but practice shows: such decisive actions make the husband think about his problems much faster than numerous reproaches and unfulfilled promises.

  1. Your attitude to alcohol should be invariably negative.

Any consumption of alcohol, even the most minimal, even the smell of fumes, should not remain without your negative assessment. This does not mean that you have to make scandals with dish smashing every time. This is just not necessary to do in any case - such "showdowns" will only lead to the fact that an alcoholic with a clear conscience will "relieve stress" and will gladly tell sympathetic drinking companions what a bitch his wife is and that he drinks exclusively because of her. Such situations should be calmly discussed, naturally - soberly, their reasons should be analyzed and real conclusions should be drawn. It should look something like this:

- Dear! Yesterday at a party you drank again, despite your promise not to. It was very unpleasant for me, because at the end of the evening you looked completely indecent, and it was just scary to come back with you, you behaved so aggressively.

- You see, I was in a very bad mood yesterday because of troubles at work, and I decided to drink a little so as not to spoil the mood of others with my appearance. And next to me was the hostess's husband, who kept pouring for me all the time, so I didn't have time to eat. And the vodka, probably, was of poor quality - I still have a headache. Probably, that's why I “went over”.

- It seemed to me that if a man gives his word, he should keep it! And it turns out that it's easier for you to break your promise than to say “no” when they pour you vodka!

- You see ...

- No, I don't understand! Let's not kid ourselves! In the last year, more and more often we have to talk about this - I think it's time to consult with specialists.

- You need - you and get treated.

- Firstly, this is we both need, and secondly, no one is going to treat you, we will just talk with a psychotherapist about how to behave in some situations related to drinking.

Sometimes such a conversation is enough for a person with alcohol problems agreed to come to us, but more often he resists in every possible way, referring to the lack of free time, the uselessness of this visit and many other "good" reasons. You must be adamant and with each new episode of alcohol, more and more resolutely insist on your own. Moreover, if conversations are ineffective, do not hesitate to use other methods of pressure, which your intuition and knowledge of the character of your loved one should prompt you. By the way, do not forget to periodically remind that in developed countries any more or less self-respecting person has his own psychologist, with whom he periodically meets. And not to have it as shameful as, tomeasure, ride a humped "Zaporozhets".

My personal experience! I'll tell you a story from life, maybe someone will come in handy. The husband began to drink a lot (drink a lot). Drinks every day, at least half a liter of vodka (moonshine) a day (sometimes more) Goes into a binge, may not drink for two days and then again. Becomes inadequate, aggressive, angry, breaks the dishes.

(not on purpose, coordination is disturbed) Scandals like this are almost daily. As soon as she did not try to stop him, he persists (he is so stubborn, and alcohol aggravates this). All plans have been violated, money is being spent, at home everything has been started and abandoned

I am 30 years old, two children. I have been married for 8 years, I work for days at work. The first 5 years we lived in happiness and joy, everything was fine with us. My husband worked and earned good money at a meat processing plant. Then he was fired and it all started.

Alcohol was the main reason for quarrels. He liked to drink from the very beginning even then. But as he said, "Only in the company, I myself am not an alcoholic drinker" And the truth. At work he often had it. And at a party he did not know the measure. My hands just dropped. I found out through a friend about the drops that can be imperceptibly mixed in to my husband so that he stops drinking. And indeed, after a month the drinking stopped, he became a completely different person. Found a job. I am very happy! For anyone interested, you can read an interesting article in detail here.

Answer 2
August, 2021

Maybe he's right. Are you qualified enough to make a medical diagnosis or do you have purely ideological and moral considerations?

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